SEXUALLY ABUSED AT 6 YEAR OLD!

So I got a mail from a reader telling me about how she was raped when she was 6 years old by her cousin and now she's 23 and wishes to tell her parents. Hmmm....things are happening! In my video I break it down and I would love if you can give her answers too. Below is her mail:


Hey sisiyemmie!

I hope all is well with you. I love your YouTube channel. You are so beautiful and you have an amazing personality. I get so excited to watch your weekly vlogs. I just wanted your opinion on something and you can also share with your subscribers if you want to in order to raise awareness. When I was about six or seven years old my aunt invited my brother and I over to have lunch for my birthday. And when we were finished she told us to go have a nap and she went back to her store. Her store was next to her apartment. I laid there with my eyes closed but I wasn't asleep. And all of a sudden I felt someone on top of me and i open one eye to pick and it was my aunts son (my cousin). They lived in a two room apartment and their bedroom didn't have a window, but I could tell it was him because it was day time and daylight was reflecting from the other room. I was laying very still with my eye half closed because I wasn't sure of what he was doing. He thought I was fast asleep so he pulled down my pants and raped me. The moment he heard noise from the hallway of their apartment, he immediately jumped off me and ran out the the back door. My brother was fast asleep next to me so I know it was not him. At the time I didn't know what that meant. I remember waking up and stand in front of my aunt shop and thinking about it but I didn't know it was something I was suppose to tell someone because it was never taught. I then went and copied it with my friend. It wasn't till I came to the US at the age of 11 that I heard about it in school when the teacher was teaching about it and telling us how dangerous it was. I started panicking and I was too afraid to tell anyone. So I kept quit about it till I was 23 when I told a close friend about it. And she told me that I need to tell my parents. I do want to tell my parents but I am worried that it will ruin my family or I might be accused of lying. I know this topic is a taboo in the African community and no one ever talks about. No one in my family ever educated me about it and if it wasn't for school I would have never known how serious it was. This secret has ruined my life and I have been depressed for the most part of my life because of it and people don't really know w
hy am always sad. I do want to speak out but afraid of the stigma and my family going against me. I really wish it wasn't a family member because it would have been a lot easier. I want to know what you think is the best thing to do in this situation. Thank you. 

15 comments

  1. Very sensitive topic and you handled it like a mum and a pro. Times are changing and i pray for the grace to train our girls to speak up without fear. Like you said,while we seek God's protection, it is important to do our part and build confidence in our children. i couldn't stop laughing at 'Egbeweja'. Sisi you are hilarious and Yes i totally agree. We should fortify our kids, do our very best and leave the rest to God.

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  2. I think the writer should definitely tell her family what happened. She is not in the wrong and did nothing wrong. Even if there are family consequences, opening up will give you a great sense of freedom and release. If you're a Christian, I would encourage you to continually prayer about the issue with a focus towards strongholds as these are thought patterns that have been in place for a very long time. Counselling may also be of benefit. Good lock with everything and thanks Sisi Yemmie for touching on this!

    Www.memoirsofayorubagirl.wordpress.com

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  3. You really nailed it Sisi Yemmie. The whole world is full of wickedness but we need to train our children well to be able to restrict every appearance of the devil God helping us.

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  4. I think the writer should definitely tell her family what happened. She is not in the wrong and did nothing wrong so should not feel guilty for what happened. Even if there are family consequences, opening up will give you a great sense of freedom and release. If you're a Christian, I would encourage you to continually pray about the issue with a focus towards strongholds as these are thought patterns that have been in place for a very long time. Counselling may also be of benefit. Good luck with everything and thanks Sisi Yemmie for touching on this very important issue!

    Www.memoirsofayorubagirl.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. hmm Memories of Yoruba Girl you na once in 5 Months you dey Post?? Visited your Site ohh but Jet i use run Commot.... Ask me why??

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  5. Sad to say these tragedies are always happening in and outside of families. As the person stated above. It is best for her own sake to tell and seek counseling. She needs to release,Cole and move forward from this with God's grace.

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  6. Sexual abuse is far too rampant thank we think. I am currently dealing with the case of a girl I know, raped and impregnated by her own father whom I also know. I can't even begin to describe how this experience broke me. I wrote a couple of blog posts on it. What do you do when a protector becomes a predator? The thing is there are predators everywhere!

    That's why we should make sacrifices and BE THERE for our kids. Sexual abuse often happens in the absence of a constant watchful eye.

    Again, we NEED God's protection because no matter how watchful we are, we can't always tie all the loose ends. Unless the Lord watches over our kids, we watch in vain.

    To the girl who sent in her story, I would say speak up to your family. Silence is golden but when it comes to issues like sexual abuse, silence isn't golden. So I would say speak up so the works of darkness will be brought to light.

    Also, you have to consciously work on not letting this affect your self-esteem. They say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. You'll be okay, dear.

    www.preciouscore.com

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  7. Amazing Story Line.. Sex Sexual Abuse... Honestly this really Happens a Lot especially as we growing up But what i think is that Parents did not give adequate attention to what kids do when they are not around Caution must be taken by parents to see that relatives living with you dont Abuse your Kids

    At this Sage it Has Happen It has Happen move on with Your Life Join Sisi Yemi in the crusade for women tio precent others from going through Similar Case.

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  8. Its so sad and i feel her pain. Its up to her to decide whether to tell her parents or not. In addition to early sexual education, what i keep saying and want to add is parents need to be less trustful of people with their kids. Particularly in this African setting where people believe it takes a village to raise a child. so u leave your kids with just about anyone. I know its not easy to do it alone but as parents be careful even with family members/friends of opposite sex sleeping over or sending ur kids to sleep over/visit, etc. Almost everyday we hear one horror story or another. God preserve us all.

    www.neloshalo.blogspot.com.ng

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    1. Neloshalo.blogspot.com Nice Idea Blogging from the Igbo Community can you also tell your Blog manager to seduce the width of your site so it can be responsive it is kind big on mobile view .... CEO www.applygist.com

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  9. You should tell your family about it dear, you need to unburden yourself and hopefully your family will look for the best way to handle it. Its time we spoke without fear about sexual abuse n rape which is rampant in our society today. Sisi you are sooo right, parents should equally educate their kids on sex so that they know what is right or wrong. #sisiyemmieblogaddict#

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  10. I'm sad. Sad. How? Please reader you have to tell your parents. Talk to your mum first please. You need it to let it off you. You've been carrying it around for about 17 years! Wow. You need to let your parents know what you went through. Toughen up darling. Tk care of you.

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  11. I think she should tell her parents. the only thing I'm skeptical about is her parents' response. If they do not handle it well, it might do more harm than good to her. she might become more depressed.
    I had that experience twice. The first one was done by my uncle. I woke up one night feeling as if something was poking me around my genitals, only to find out that it was my uncle trying to put his p**** in. While still drowsy, I thought it was ok but almost immediately I jumped up and went to the toilet. Guess what! He followed me and was waiting for me when I came out, most likely to continue from where he stopped. Can you imagine that!!! The only way I thought of in order to be able to go back to sleep and stop him from having his way was by squeezing myself between my brothers for the remainder of the night.I told my mum the next morning and She banned that uncle of mine (who happened to be her step-brother) from coming to our house and for a long time, we didn't see him.
    The second was my cousin. This went on for 3 years. Started one afternoon when I was in JSS3. I left my siblings and my cousin to go in for a nap. After sometime, someone came in but since my eyes were closed, the person didn't know that I was not asleep. It happened to be my cousin. Then he came on me and started kissing me. I couldn't scream out. The worst thing was that he even ejaculated in my panties. *Yuck!!!* By the time he left, I had a swollen mouth. When my siblings saw me, I think I had to lie that I hit mouth or so because I couldn't bring myself to tell them. I couldn't tell my parents. I remember writing a note to my dad that I was running away from home and gave the reason for that but I had to destroy it. I couldn't tell them for two reasons. One, I feared that my mum will ask that is it only me (because of the experience with my uncle) and secondly I didn't want it to destroy my mum's relationship with my paternal side (he was my cousin from my paternal side). I started disrespecting that cousin of mine. No one knew why. Severally my elder sister would ask "What did ***** do to you?", "Is he your mate?", "Did you see him in the dream?", etc. He kept repeating it, mostly during the night and kept getting away with it.Once I told a friend of mine in school, I also told one of our tutors in school who used to come with the Priest from the Church in town (I was in the boarding school). He advised me severally to confront my cousin and inform my parents. After every holiday, he used to ask me if I had done the needful and I always said No. One day when I was in SS3 I summoned courage. I had come home after my WAEC exams to rest for about 3 weeks before returning to school for my NECO exams. That morning, we were the only ones at home. So I pretended to be sleepy and went into the room. I pretended to be asleep and as usual he came. When he was on me, I spoke up and challenged him. He denied it. But I was charged up already. I gave him correct history, starting with the first time he did it till that present day. He was so surprised and knew that he couldn't deny it again. I threatened to tell my parents especially my mum and he knew what that meant. He pleaded, tried to bribe me, eventually I didn't tell them even till today. But I made a decision not to allow that weigh me down nor define me which really helped.

    The bottom line is this, the sender should brace up and let this be behind her and take Sisi Yemmie's advice (therapy, church, increased self esteem, et al). Whatever experience we have in life, whether good or bad, we are the architects of the effect they'll have in our present life and future.
    I'm a better person now and will definitely be a better parent. Just like you, Sisi Yemmie, I will definitely starting informing them very early. I'm not going to take chances at all.

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  12. To the young lady who wrote that letter, I would advise her to tell her parents and like you suggested SisiYemmie, she should also seek professional counselling. Telling her parents is the first step to her healing process. Professional counselling will equip her with the tools to deal with that past issue and not let it affect her future. If not dealt with properly, she could have issues with intimacy in marriage or embrace shame from the incident which is not hers to embrace. The shame belongs to devil.

    My dear, please speak up and speak out. God can use any situation to His glory, and He may need you to release yourself by speaking out and helping other young girls previously or currently in your shoes. Your testimony (yes testimony because you are an overcomer), can bring awareness to parents to be more watchful with their young children and like SisiYemmie said, Parents ought to be more attentive to their children.

    Speaking of attentiveness, I am thankful for my parents, who were like helicopters - constantly hovering. If it weren't for their watchful eye, I may have rape stories like most of my childhood friends. In Nigerian churches, I notice that parents tend to be too careless with their children, especially their little girls. I often see little girls wandering off and sitting on one "uncle's" lap in the church. Sometimes, the parents don't know where their kids are, but never get too worried because they know the kids are in the confines of the church.

    Mothers especially, teach your daughters, that daddy's lap should be the only male lap they should sit on. And with your sons, cougars are very real in human form. God gave us these children and intend for us to be stewards. We cannot entrust our precious gifts carelessly in the hands of others. If they get hurt, God holds us responsible. Please parents, wake up and make no apologies for being a helicopter.

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  13. Tell your parents. Stop dwelling on how they would react. Let it go, don't dwell on it anymore, allow yourself to move on with your life. It is well with you.

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Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

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