WHAT I HATE ABOUT MY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! AAAARGH!!!



It’s no news that Long Distance Relationships are hard!Oh so harrrrd! I am not exaggerating!  Long-term, short-term, local or international LDR's are hard. Bobo was around for a few weeks and now he don go so you see where my inspiration came from? There are some benefits of LDR’s but today I want to rant about the disadvantages and the annoying bits of LDR’s! Allow me and join me if you’re in one… misery loves company. Lol 

ABSENCE  You can’t see them when you want to. I know there’s Skype, I know there are Blackberry phones that can be used for video calls but tell me, honestly, is it the same? NO!  Staying up late talking on the phone for long hours annoy me now sef. It's worse when we are in two different time zones; my morning is his night and my evening is his early in the morning and someone has to sacrifice their sleep sometimes.You have to schedule calls, and then it’s limited and sometimes expensive which is my next point exactly!


EXPENSIVE STUFF: LDR’s are not cheap, especially in Nigeria. Why is that? You think say to buy credit cheap? Internet for Skype gan is not cheap so I have almost given up on using Skype.  Even when there’s money to use the Skype, network will be so bad that I just give up from frustration. These days we just restrict ourselves to phone calls, bbm messages and leave it there. You have to spend money planning visits: flight tickets are not cheap even bus ticket sef nor cheap. LDR is expensive!

CONFUSION: Well this is typical. Since you cannot "See" the person you don't know if they are fine when they say they are, you cannot read their facial expression, it is hard to be a mind reader and an emotion detector. For someone like me that likes to frown when I'm vexing, Bobo cannot see it. There's also mis-communication, sometimes you ring your partners number and the network will tell you it does not exist or switched off, imagine the kain fight una go fight when you call and someone of the opposite sex says "hi"..those network errors happen too. *heart attack!

FIGHTING SUCKS: Fighting is not fun and then you fight for no reason. When I quarrel with someone I like to look at them face-to-face and fight it out! Doing it over the phone is just wrong! Writing so fast in CAPS does not have the same effect as the real thing (lol, i'm not a trouble maker). Sometimes they hang up  in the middle of your yelling and you are left staring at your phone and talking to your self like krase pesin.

MAKING UP SUCKS! How about making up?  In relationships where you get to see and hold and do all those things that your parents told you leads to carrying of belle, fighting is much more fun. After fighting, you make up, with hugs, kisses and whatever it is you fancy. Maybe you go out and have a romantic dinner of suya and fanta, but in a Long Distance Relationship, OYO l'owa! You fight and make up on the phone, o tan!#SufferheadLife.

LITTLE THINGS: Relationships are for relating. Doing special or just normal everyday things as a couple makes life much more fun. It’s little things like “Bobo please bring kuli-kuli on your way back home, or help me rub my back e be like say I dey feel pains", "Sisi please make that your vegetable soup for me" that matter in life right? Right! I actually feel deprived and it is my own doing.

INSECURITIES: Since trust is major in LDR’s you can understand that there will be a certain level of paranoia, what if they are not true to you? What if?  e.g. *Phone conversation: “You said you were at home, but why is that place not sounding like your house, I know the way your house sounds, where are you????”. It doesn't end there, people tend to ask why, why him? why her? why not end it? why? why? why? se o worth e? Ibere! They remind you that you can’t see the other person and that means they could be cheating on you, sigh. And they give you examples of their sisters friends cousin that it happened to! Kini?! We in LDR’s have enough problems already without others trying to feed our paranoia. Stop eeet!

BYE: Saying Bye sucks, especially not knowing when you will see them again. All those long annoying trips to the airport, train station , motor park- however it is they leave sha - always very heartbreaking. There was a time I used to wail at the airport whenever Bobo was leaving but now I'm a big babe and I do big babe things, I wait till I get home and then let the waterfalls loose!

AFTER BYE: Well, there’s that sinking feeling you get after spending time with each other and you’re apart. I feel morose for a few days and then it is back to life as usual (texting, skyping, calling) which sucks. I try to get used to turning off the generator by myself, killing mosquito's by myself and changing light bulbs by myself... *singing, lonely, i am so lonely, i have no...

Na who send me message?

I'll stop here, I feel better now. Rant over. Tell me the annoying bits of your #LDR



Ps. Please vote for me at the Nigerian Blog Awards, I was nominated for Best Designed Blog, Nigerian Blog of The Year, Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog! Here's the link - VOTE

48 comments

  1. I prefer the 'face me I face you kinda fight'. Like 'Oju l'oro wa'. Lol, I be gentle lady o, eh ehn. There are a lot of deprivations that come with LDR but I'm grateful for those moments when you get to be together, feels like a thousand years.

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  2. Gosh!!!! So I am not selfish!!! Hahaha,time diff is crazy,sisi I am with you on this one its can be very annoying and depressing!!!!!! God strenghten us......lol

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  3. I feel your pain jare sisi....we're sisters-in-misery :(

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  4. This is true.. Its as if you inside my head sis Yemi.. Its not easy

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  5. This is true.. Its as if you inside my head sis Yemi.. Its not easy

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  6. Wanting to talk to him when you are either very exited or very upset about something - and not being able to to share it with him immediately - worse if you try to call at that moment and you can't get through - so the gist is not sweet again when next you have to talk about it. It can pain!
    I love your blog and your posts... everything about it is sweet, just like your personality... Good going!

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  7. Wanting to talk to him when you are either very exited or very upset about something - and not being able to to share it with him immediately - worse if you try to call at that moment and you can't get through - so the gist is not sweet again when next you have to talk about it. It can pain!
    I love your blog and your posts... everything about it is sweet, just like your personality... Good going!

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  8. LDR can b so so annoying, fighting over stupid tins

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  9. Omg the time zone thing is the worst! I cant get a break!! My boo and I are 7 hours apart and as the years go on the busier and busier we get. Skype is no longer an option sef, its all phone call and bbm. When will it end!! :(

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  10. I know exactly how you feel! We did ours for close to a year before we got married! Wasn't as bad though cos we both could just vex and enter the road (which happened quite a few times!!). What annoyed me the most was the cold nights!!!

    But you do have something to long forward to! When this nonsense LDR will be all over!! You could have a countdown clock sef! ;-)

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  12. I know exactly how you feel! We did ours for close to a year before we got married! Wasn't as bad though cos we both could just vex and enter the road (which happened quite a few times!!). What annoyed me the most was the cold nights!!!

    But you do have something to long forward to! When this nonsense LDR will be all over!! You could have a countdown clock sef! ;-)

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  13. LDR is really annoying oh! I know exactly how you feel! We did ours for about a year before we got married. Ours wasn't too bad though as we just a had a few towns separating us, sometimes we would just vex and enter road sef! What annoyed me the most was the cold nights!! My goodness :)

    But you do have something to look forward to though, when all this is over! So you can setup a countdown clock and look at that when its starting to vex you!

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  14. Sisi, this is the one thing that makes me keep coming back to your blog, even without subscribing: HUMOUR. I mean, you have a way of creating humour with words. I just gbadun you.

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  15. U have said my mind, LDR can be so annoying at times but is fun to me.

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  16. The time difference is just not righteous. Kai. Its just makes it harder. Something pesin de try manage time difference go just de spoil matter. God help us all survive these periods of aloneness.

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  17. lol sisi e be like say you enter my mind today carry spoon scrape all the things i dey think come rub am for here!! #sigh God dey.

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  18. I so relate to everything you've said....the making up after fights is the most annoying part and spending money on calls and chats....I even had to move closer to him to study but still same every1 is busy and all....LDR is frustrating in a way tho.

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  19. Fights over the slightest things and there's the misintepretation of statements cos the expression is not seen,lmao @ fight n end it over the phone,its just crazy!!!!!and one wld just keep dreaming and wishing*phew*

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  20. Sometimes LDR can be so annoying. you feel so empty to the extent you start to lose that love and passion...and talking about men, when you're not so close, as polygamous as the are....it's hard to trust their temperance.
    Jdy last posted...A Brief Guide to Life

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  21. You just said it the exact way it is!!!! It sucksssssssss.
    Did u say it is expensive? No it is extremely expensive. Lol. How you have to keep your phone recharged at all times or is it how you can't rely on naija Internet.
    Arrggghhhh that fighting part annoys me. You can't vex fully. And you end up annoying yourself for vexing sef if the person doesn't notice you are vexing. Mehn the rants are endless sha

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  22. I did ldr for a yr n few months b4 I got married! The longest time we were apart was 6 months tho. We usually see every 4 -6 months it was hard but worth it in the end!

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  23. Totally with you on this.

    Many of these same thoughts ran thru my mind a few minutes ago as I dropped 'the call'.

    Holding someone's hand can make all the difference on some rough days. Now. even when you know something is wrong, you find your hands literally tied. Sadly, whatever isn't translated to the sorely inadequate domain of speech has to be 'ignored'. :-((

    "Sucks" is just the word! Serious #SufferheadLife oh!


    !.!.!

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  24. Thank you for this post at least i know i'm not alone. What's not annoying about LDR? When I and my boo argue like this, you would think it's smfing else. It's annoying cos we can't see each oda face to face to express your feelings. Oh well! May God help us all.

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  25. Mehhhnnn. I hope I never get to do this LDR thing oh!! Una dey try gan

    www.cassiedaves.blogspot.com

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  26. Tell me about it. I am delivered now... lol. It's so not the same as face-to-face. Making it through is truly a huge sacrifice. God will see you through...

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  27. Returning to an empty bed after dropping them off at d airport and d plane hasnt even left(near yet so far)...... Thats d hardest hardest time for moi

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  28. hhmmm...I can't even comment. LDR actually killed my relationship...it's been three and half years now and I haven't dated anyone cos LDRs are too painful jor especially with me shuffling countries, I can't do LDR ever again except I am permanently living in a country and I'm sure I'll be there for a long time #findingitdifficulttotrustagain #naijainternetsucks it's so painful when you know you would have just hugged someone if they were there physically. Skype/Viber oh, Rebtel oh gbogbo e...they can never be the same. But Sisi u haf try sha...may God continue to strengthen you two till the day of I do. #shiningmydancingshoesandwaitingforthedate

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    1. I feel you my dear...don't worry. God's keeping you for that man who's waiting to give you the best. As for the dancing shoes, mine has almost faded gan from waiting for sisi and bobo...may have to buy a new set. Hehehe

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  29. I so feel u on this, kudos2 all in LDR's, cos I for one can't deal with it...think u & ur guy sud work towards settling down soon so you 4get bout d distance crap!

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  30. I seriously feel you. Especially when there's a time difference. Not funny at all

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  31. Honestly, you are very right abt everything u mentiond above. Chaaaaaiiiii...LDR is frustrating and depressing, I hate been lonely the only thing is u have freedom @ the moment he's gone again.( Tosin of Topal)

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  32. With a year away from home studying in cold Leeds in the UK...LDM (long distant Marriage /relationship sucks) ....but it does have its good days though.. Now i am back , i find that my one year of freedom is over ....i cant just go to the pub and came back at 3 am ...(not in Naija)...
    but the benefits outweighs the risk ...
    (Doc 4)

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  33. missed dis blog so good to b back...

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  34. lol long distance is a true test of trust; I di long distance with hubby 5 yr before we got married and 3 yrs after marriage and it was very hard. Everything you said is true. The only good is when we saw each other it was like dating all over again. The hardest part is I al just learning him now and realized that all those phone conversations that made me think I knew him wasn't necessarily true. It isn't bad by the way. It is even more interesting but we both say a lot of really? how come I never knew this? that leaves me to think we focused so much on the sweet things all those years and the good gist and less about important things...no time on the fone to waste on seriousness lol

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  35. My dear...sisi yemmie. No be lie you talk jare. I'm outside Naija at the moment and i cry at least twice every week. Its the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. As in...even my birthday coming up sef in few days time...i can't guarantee the way the day would be sef without my bobo here. My dear, how we go do nah...nah to just manage for the main time jare...Oku ise my dear! *wink*

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  36. This blog is the bomb! Where haave I been all along?
    Back to the matter, being in a LDR sucks, but it sucks more when both of you start off from some social network and break up without seeing physically; no memories of faces, just pictures and all.

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  37. LDR should be avoided if possible. It's negatives far outweigh the positives

    Pls share your endometriosis stories@ endochallenges.wordpress.com. Let's beat endo together!

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  38. LDR's are sweeter than we think o. just look at the positive side. you're freeeeeeeeee to do whatever you want, whenever, and however. nothing beats that. Bondage can only be so much fun for so long. just enjoy his absense

    www.raajusblog.blogspot.com

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  39. You are so right, I have been in LDRs twice now and both times it was not funny. The calls, skype and other things sometimes do not quite do it. It sucks not having them present all the time to hang out with, go out and enjoy each others company. LDRs can be a lonely place and temptations abound!

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  40. Kai! Sisi yemi u gerrit! The worst has to be the lonely nights especially when everyone else around you is loving up and your man is in another timezone. And yes! The team "move on" who won't give it a rest.
    Ive been in my LDR for about 11 months now. Cried so tey I'm used to the pain now. Worst part is I don't know for sure when I'm touching him again. Till then.... its still technology love for now.... sigh
    We should form an LDR support group.

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    1. LMAO..We should form an LDR support group.....very funny of you!

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  41. This was just what i needed to hear, when i thought only me felt this way, i thouth it was just us that had this LDR issues. LDR is sooo hard!! damn!! hv cried a lot of times! insecurrity comes up, i hate skype, i had twitter Dm's damn!!! we LDR sisters should have an association!! especially with different time zones!! arrrghhhh

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  42. thank you for this post sisi yemmie, I actually look to you for LDR advice because now I know that it's really not easy! another annoying thing as well is seeing other couples! you'll just be there like 'me too I'm holding my bf's hand in spirit' before you start feeling too jealous lol

    culturein10.blogspot.com

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  43. I hate that he can't be here when I need him. Getring a "don't worry it sill be okay" on the phone makes me want to throw it away.

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