WHY ARE YOU NOT MARRIED... AT YOUR AGE???

My dear, if you've heard this then I will assume you're probably of marriageable age in Nigeria which I would approximate to be between 23 -30 years. Someone asked me, "Why Are You Not Married At Your Age?... People have no chill I tell you. There is no question they won't ask you. "You know age is not on your side..." "hmmm a girl is like a flower...withers quickly"... "Do you want to use your retirement to train children"... you've heard these abi?

These days people don't marry early anymore and who can blame us? Ehn? Most of the older generation got married early, by 25 some of our mothers have given birth to their "last born" ...na lie? But nowadays...more people are are getting married in their 30's. Why do you think this is happening? Here's my own opinion: 

1. THE ONE: Of course you cannot marry yourself and we all want to find that PERFECT somebody that was made just for us! No time for mediocrity relationships...if the person cannot make toes curl and hearts flip then ...errrm no. Also, the time of arranged marriages is sooooo over and we want to make the decision ourselves, so yeah...we will wait till 50 sef to find that perfect person that meets all our standards unless we decide to of course...ahem..."settle down."

2. ACQUIRING DEGREES: If you don't have a masters degree then you never read book finish (in 9ja oh)...By the time you finish secondary school, 4 year university degree, sometimes 5 to 8 years sef if you attended public schools with their frequent strikes...your bia bia go don white. To even enter University sometimes na wahala, JAMB jammed me like 2 times before I jejely went to a private Uni. That's 2 years gone. Education takes time but some people will argue that you can be married and still go to school...biko, tell me...how many parents want to sponsor their married kids to school? 

3. BUILDING CAREERS: Its one thing to go to school, it's another one to find a job or build a career. We need to make up for all those twenty something or thirty something years of education. It cannot waste! So we start our careers, and sometimes we want to FOCUS on these careers to be successful, there asre some jobs that are so demanding and by the time we're ready for marriage time don dey nack 30's O Clock. Oooops! 

4. PAPER CHASING: Yes ke, money is very important and we know that nor be love we go chop for breakfast if we marry without a job or any kind of financial capabilities. It's hard to live on love in this economy, there's rent to pay, there's fuel for generator, there's transportation, there's phone bills...orisisirisi to pay, you've got to chase paper! Some guys have made up their mind not to get married until they start earning a particular amount of money, some want to build house first or at least own a car. Different strokes for different folks.

5. FREE GOODIES: They say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free abi? It's common these days that people engage in premarital sex because they are independent 21st century westernized folks, and because body nor be firewood. In those days I guess you have to marry the babe before you get the goodies. There were also a lot of shotgun marriages; if you give am belle, you musto marry am. Not so now: you give am belle does not guarantee marriage, hence the babymama's and babydaddy trend. I actually think if people abstain, they would get married quicker. Forget chasing paper, forget, building careers. Let us just marry.

6. MENTAL PREPARATION: Yup...some people are simply not ready to get married. They still want to "discover themselves"...they want to experience life as a single person before you know...getting married. They want to travel, they want to live alone, have no cares in the world...tell this to your parents if they won't take you for deliverance. 

I know these are not all the reasons but they pretty much sum it up. Tell me, why are you not married AT YOUR AGE?

Ps. In other news... remember that My Big Nigerian Wedding you voted for Bobo and I last year? Well with your help we got to round two!Whoopeee! This means that we have a chance at winning this wedding thing oh…only if you vote. So please, vote for Bobo and I by clicking HERE! Tell your friends, family, colleagues....you can vote everyday!
 

28 comments

  1. I am still not mentality and financially ready biko...

    My mama constantly give me the side eye nowadays, since her abuse tire I no bring man come house.

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  2. I am still not mentally and financially ready for marriage. Sisi times have changed every one is chasing paper. :) I hope you win

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  3. Sisi I don vote oh! Hope U win! Although am yet to hear anyone ask me the above question, I keep asking myself: Ruth, Y aren't U married at ur age. Here's My self reply: Am yet to be spiritually & finacially ready! U know a prayerful wife is a GREAT wife, nt to Rekindle my love for God 1st before loving a man to the extent of being with him forever, am almost there sha. & yeah, ust got a good job, so in a few months, I'll be ready. Then I'll choose someone from my many suitors! *swirling away*

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  4. The mentality and pressure to get married can be ridiculous. People jumping into marriage just because they want to be married and then regretting it later.

    Oh, folks want big wedding...thanks to bellanaija lol!

    Good luck! Hope you win.

    xoxo
    Stella

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  5. Congratulations! Hope you win!! xx

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  6. Oh well, I just stumbled on your post and your reasons are quite apt. I'm sure many single people can relate with them. I personally don't see anything wrong with a woman choosing to be 'single by design' though. I explained it in the piece I posted on my personal blog. You can check it out on ALEXANDRA N'HER NAKED THOUGHTS! http://alexokoroji.blogpost.com/

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. alexokoroji.blogspot.com

      u made an error in your blog adress

      Delete
  7. Congrats, Sisi! I'm really hoping you'll win.
    endochallenges.wordpress.com

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  8. Av u voted sisiyemmie for my big Nigeria wedding, if u av nt, do quickly. Me u av ooo and ll keep voting till dey win
    alwayspat4love@yahoo.com

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  9. Lol please explain this "make toes curl" oh cuz me ar no get. :(

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  10. Sometimes I think it is just human nature, we are always in a rush to move to what we think the next level is. When you have a child, you will wonder when she will start sitting, once she is sitting, when she will crawl, walk, run, talk and the expectations go on. The pressure will not let up even after marriage, the next thing the pressure will move on to having children. It is best to be at least considerably prepared before making that lifetime decision.

    Congratulations on moving on to the next level. Going to vote for you now

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    Replies
    1. That's so true.I agree with you oke.

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  11. Some Nigerians have no chill whatsoever, people love to get all up in your business. I had to restrain myself from insulting people over the christmas holidays and I m a dude, I imagine its a lot worse for ladies. If you go by the pressures of the Nigerian society you might end up married to the wrong person and miserable. So why am I not married? Need to find the right lady and I need to make sure I am prepared to be a good husband (non of that sidechick business).

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  12. How come your marriageable age window ended at 30? Warn yourself oh

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  13. I'm not married because I'm not sure I wanna ever get married, and no guy deserves to marry a girl who is still discovering what she wants out of life. Matter of fact, nobody does.

    PS. Find yourself before you find love. Saves a lot of heartache later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You re so pretty!!!!!

      Too pretty to still be single

      Delete
  14. I'm not married because I'm not sure I wanna ever get married, and no guy deserves to marry a girl who is still discovering what she wants out of life. Matter of fact, nobody does.

    PS. Find yourself before you find love. Saves a lot of heartache later.

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  15. Here's what I think about those who say they want to be financially ready. It can work for and against you. I understand wanting to be able to support a family before taking the plunge. However, what a lot of us young people forget is that our parents started off with nothing, a lot of times. If they had a mattress and a small stove, they were able to sustain their homes, and with time moved on to providing what we take for granted now.

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  16. Its important that young people fully discover themselves before getting married, you need to know who YOU ARE first, before you can find the RIGHT person to complete you! all other reasons are bonuses.
    dressed2dnines.blogspot.com

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  17. Nicely said dear and all the best, I hope you win.

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  18. voted you already!! really hope you win.

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  19. lol.. mental preparedness!!! parents will take your name to all the churches they know hahaha

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  20. The only reason I tend to agree with the older generation is because if you wait too long to start bearing children it can be dangerous. The human body was not built to survive this our new generation wahala lol

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  21. You can never have enuf to be married. Our parents knew their priorities n took d plunge. Howcome, dis generation that has so much choices ends up with divorce on a high rate.

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  22. I have a similar post on my blog:www.chantelmartha.blogspot.com
    Hmmmmm me i have heard this questions a millions times now i have learnt to blank it out when anyone asks me..cos there is no husband market so if the man is bad you can't return him to the seller..so in order to avoid divorce let me take my time abeg ohh cos am too smart, strong and fab to settle for less.

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  23. LWKMDFH! I sha said I had to read this post. The thing haff been dodging me for a while.

    People can so like to poke-nose and draw up unsolicited schedules. What's my own. Wenever they ask that worn out question, my default stance is 'my age is not an address' -_-


    !.!.!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

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