NO CHANGE!


Yesterday I was trying to make dinner so I remembered I wanted some sweet corn but I did not have any at home, kia kia I drove to the nearest mart to pick one up, I got to the cashier and this all-too-familiar conversation ensued. 

Cashier: No change.
Me: Ok?
She looks away, perhaps wishing in her head I would disappear.
Me: Ehen?
Cashier: No change!



Me: What am I supposed to do? Look for change for you? Why is she looking at me like Lucozade?
Mind you, I gave her 500 Naira, the sweet corn cost 250 naira.
Cashier: There’s no change.

I understand what no change means, what I don’t understand is why this babe cannot comot from where she stand to go and ask her manager or look for change at least! Shuo.


Me: Oya, where’s your manager?
Cashier: He’s not around, aunty abeg I want to attend to anoda customer... and she tries to dismiss me with that. But una know say I can stubborn pass he-goat, so I stood my ground.
Me: So because no manager you cannot get change? What you mean to tell me is that you have not sold up to 250 naira since morning? If I call the owner of this store will he be happy to hear this? Don’t worry, Let me see how you will give another person change today
Change appeared few minutes later.

If I count the amount of change I have left in these Lagos stores/kiosk/traders etc, e don pass 10000, ahn ahn! Please tell me I’m not the only person experiencing this No Change drama. I actually believe it is a new business strategy, you cannot convince me otherwise!

Another time I went to buy Meat Pie from this fast food outlet and because I was so hungry, I don dey munch the meatpie already, next thing the attendant just said “ aunty we don’t have change oh”… See me see wahala, I don almost chop the meat pie finish... The way he said it, he expected me to say “Ok, no wahala" and then gerrout of the place. I’m sorry, you’re not in luck today. If I want to dash money, I will dash. You have to give me my change sir, mo sorry gan.

So I told him, “ bros, you have to find change or I will drop this half meatpie and go away with my money OR we will bring the money and tear it into two so you keep your half and the half meatpie” he must have realized say he don jam Aso Rock: a hungry Sisi is a very very angry Sisi. Next thing this guy goes into their koro office and change magically appears!Hurrah! Mstcheww!

Another time I bought Indomie and expected change of at least 500 naira and I was told “aunty pick another thing worth 500 naira, we don’t have change” Hell oh Hell. Noooooo! I don’t want to pick another thing, give me my change. "Do you want Tom-Tom? Or Digestive Biscuit? Or Tin Milk?" He proded.

Do not fall for that strategy oh! That day mo gba change mi, nonsense and ingredients. Na today yansh dey back? If you like be doing big boy and big girl in Lagos, they will use "No Change" to finish your salary. My first expereinces: I always leave the change with them if it's less than 100 naira, if its more than then I allow them bamboozle me that I can come back to get it another time. I never go back. 

My eye don dey shook this time, make nobody try me. Give me my change!


34 comments

  1. like seriously, 9ja don vex oh! this is so annoying to know. something has to be done about balance issuing. otherwise,CBN prints a smaller dominations of money. Weldone Sisi

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know this too well! Gosh, very annoying. But me I never leave my change too. I either stand there till I get my change or drop the item.lol
    Do you know how much they make from 'aunty we no get change'? hian, such thiefry

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol...jibiti, they might as we'll add gratuity to your bill.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lool this happens to me all the time!! I think it's just a trick. As for me I just drop the item and get my money back. No one is going to exploit me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lool this happens to me all the time!! I think it's just a trick. As for me I just drop the item and get my money back. No one is going to exploit me

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lol....jibiti. They might as well add gratuity to your bill.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awon onyara pple,I never leave my change for them oh sisi they don't kno we're on to them

    ReplyDelete
  8. lool! smh* I am sure she said it like it was her right to keep the change sef

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haaaa! I just drop the item and leave the store oh. After all, no be only you dey sell market for area. Pschew. My ijebu blood is too strong for me to be dashing people change up and down, especially knowing that the sales people would carefully tally up all their "no-change, you can keep the change" they got that day and pocket the money.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gba be!!!!!!!!!! Sure girl!!!!! Most of the time, I always have change.....odawise, I nor even want product again!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have this problem every day! I am literally cussing by the time I leave the store.

    ReplyDelete
  12. lol.. most tym i jus leave d change nd go away.. but henceforth i must to collect my change o

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL THAT IS WHAT UK TEACHERS YOU THE VALUE OF MONEY... I USE TO LEAVE CHANGE OOO THOSE DAYS BUT IF I FIND MYSELF IN LAGOS AGAIN OMO I DON'T THINK I WOULD LEAVE CHANGE... BEFORE I GIVE OR LEAVE CHANGE MAN YOU GOT TO WORK FOR IT AT LEAST SOMEHOW.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Na so na. Nonsense mshewww i wee collect my something

    ReplyDelete
  15. lol Sisi Yemmie you are so funny...that is what they do sha and it can be frustrating

    ReplyDelete
  16. Omo no time ooo, ma gba changy me straight or I keep there item, by d time 10 customers leave without buying anything manager go come into d matter.

    ReplyDelete
  17. They always come up with new strategies just to gba people.

    ReplyDelete
  18. They always come up with new strategies just to gba people. As for CBN and the high denominations they keep printing I have nothing to say

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lol. Thats the in thing with store attendants these days, and the rude way they tell you no change is annoying. Cab drivers are on another level of "no change" entirely.

    ReplyDelete
  20. lmao sisiyemmie is something else..not only lagos , ibadan too. cabd drivers re worse, you either drop or they take you back to the busstop. I always go back to get my change.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is so very familiar..sometimes in order to avoid too much talk I just walk away *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  22. Often I pick an item worth the amount of the change. Once I gave a boy lecture on why he shouldn't have talked to me dismissively over my hard earned ten naira. lol And once I went to buy gizzard from a frozen food store and the customer service was good, I commended them and promised to come back, cos the owner of the store seeing that her attendants were having difficulty in getting my correct change, stood up, went to her car to find my complete change. I left smiling. Now that's what I call customer service. No change for where?!

    ReplyDelete
  23. So its not only you. I don't fall for that scam o. Fortunately, it always happens in the area, and I tell my younger ones to return the item if the person can't find change. Guess what, the change always appears. Rubbish and nonsense.

    After a while, they will say government is corrupt, yet we find ways to scam our fellow men, and on sunday, claim one religion or the other.

    Rubbish and nonsense. I am sure you can tell that I am pissed.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Lol! Omo no story...gimme my change or i carry my kaya go anoda place...simples! The manner with which dey say it (esp d ladies) is even whats more off putting.

    ReplyDelete
  25. lol. this happens even in shops that sell below #100 products..God help us sha. visit my blog @ www.raajusblog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. Lol @ na today yansh dey back! This "No Change" business taking Lagos by storm...there must be a secret course that they're taking o. Lol :D

    ReplyDelete
  27. No change, short changed...Lagos has change issues!

    Check out this piece on change - http://ijescorner.tumblr.com/post/62234620034/short-changed

    ReplyDelete
  28. No change, short changed...Lagos has change issues!

    Check out this piece on change - http://ijescorner.tumblr.com/post/62234620034/short-changed

    ReplyDelete
  29. No change, short changed...Lagos has change issues!

    Check out this piece on change - http://ijescorner.tumblr.com/post/62234620034/short-changed

    ReplyDelete
  30. Even the toll gate people have started the no-change thing these days. That one i don't agree, i tell them to go into the next boot to get change. Me leave my change for LASG lai lai...LOL.

    www.stylefash25.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Lmao! i thought i was the only drama queen experiencing this! i always insist on getting my change oh! yeye people. since u cant leave your money i cant leave my 1 naira either! mtschewww!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I love this website... Constantly updating us outside Nigeria on what to expect when we come home. Cos I totally see my self falling for the no change strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Do I love you? Yes I do? Why do I love you? We are alike, me leaving no change for no one cus they haf use my eyes to see the back of my head.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

Back to Top