Horrible things happen in an elevator: I thought the worse that could happen is me farting alone in one and then someone enters. But this video I saw today...chilled me to my bones. Here's the gist: Ray Rice is an NFL player. In this video we see him knocking out his then fiance, now wife unconcious.  If you watch the video properly you will notice that just one punch sent her to the ground and she hit her head against the rails... I try to imagine how painful that was, but I shudder!

Apparently before they got into the elevator she shoved him, when he first hit her in the elevator she hit back and then he gave a the fatal knockout. So, some people argue that he was provoked.

The incident took place Feb. 15th at the Revel Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City. FYI, they got married a month after that.

Here are the questions I have:

1. Why did she go on to marry him about a month after that assault?
2. If a man (woman) hits you once, can they change?
3. Is provocation enough justification for physical violence?
4. Does verbal abuse always lead to physical abuse?


  1. Hmmmmmm, the woman knows why she married him. Maybe money or for other reasons. But she is definitely going to get more beatings in the marriage. And NO dont think provocation is an excuse.

  2. 1. Who knows? money or blind love
    2. Yes but not so easily
    3. No!
    4. NO!

  3. Sisters, im not surprised she married him.It´s awesome what the love of $$$ can do.
    The kind of punch she received and the guy afterwards behaviour shows clearly that it was not the first time.He,still went on and spitted on her and did not show any type of remorse.
    And, so sorry for her and her daughter, because, it wont be the last time.
    Once a batterer always a batterer.
    If you are in a marriage and you husband maltreats you, you have an "excuse" not lo leave him, but this was not the case, they were not married when the incident happened. What are you still doing there??? For Christ´s sake!! .Not that i support the idea of bearing any maltreatment in marriage. If i had a daughter being maltreated in her marital home, i would surely advice her to divorce man. Without looking back. She is someone´s child and deserve respect as a human being.
    There is not an excuse to domestic violence in any form.

    1. there are people who are poor yet still marry the guy despite being abused.... As far it's a sexual covenant involved and low self esteem everything is possible.
      Soul ties - these are broken by the deliverance in Jesus Christ name.

  4. I think she's in luv with beating & money.

  5. After looking at the video the only reason she stayed with him is because he's suppose to have been one of the best running backs in the NFL. I don't think provocation is an excuse. The video clearly displays him pushing her to the limit and trying to tempt her into a physical fight. He felt the need to punch (TWICE), kick her (THREE TIMES), drag her out of the elevator, grab her by the arm, and put his hands in his pockets when a staff member stopped to help. He did nothing to aid her. She shoved him to get him away from her. If he felt threatened then he would of never entered the elevator with her. Even in the interview he was smug. She was guilt tripped into marrying him because she doesn't feel she could do better. Once a man does it once he will do it again and even go further because he had a little taste of power and control. The issue with him is that he needs to exert his anger and feel in control. If football couldn't do that for him then I don't know what else could have. It's sad to see them play it off so loosely over what is now loss, his career. www.sonjaskygatlin.com

  6. Hmm. Interesting that this post has been up for hours and there's just one comment.

    She's most likely getting decked in the marriage. Too bad the video didn't come out early enough, she may have had more pressure or should I say, support to leave. Now that his contract is terminated, I can only imagine he'll go back to deck her because after all if she hadn't "annoyed" or "provoked" him, he wouldn't have decked her and such footage would not exist. That's just how abusers and people who validate abusers think.

    It's really sad. Men hit women, people hit other people simply because they CAN. Not because they're angry or whatever excuse they give themselves.Your boss annoys the hell out of you, are you holding him in a choke hold? Your mother upsets you, do you give her one agbara real quick because you are the man? You hit somebody because you feel you can. We know better than to pick on someone who's not our own (figurative) size.

    There is NO justification for physical abuse. NEVER. And it's sad that the beating comes with some kind of psychological rearrangement, because I've never been here but I believe you have to mentally prepare somebody to be decked by you. You can't come to a person with full esteem, with a balanced idea of what she's doing or what you're doing in a relationship and you just hit her. With beating comes other forms of manipulation and assault and this is what makes it so difficult for victims to get out.

    An uncle of mine beat his wife a lot- so much until one day he thought she had died! That was when everyone had enough and she finally left him. He's remarried now and I don't know what he's doing in the new marriage. I don't know but I feel like it'd be easier for him to refrain from beating his new wife, than to have stopped hitting the old one.

    1. So true,if you are a man and you get agitated WALK AWAY.Men don't hit women and vice versa.

  7. She's the only one that can answer the first question corrrectly.She knows why she went into the marriage despite the assault.To your second question,they can never change.A leopard does not change its skin even if you use bleach!Provocation is not enough justification for domestic violence.Last question,not in all cases.Sometimes,if verbal abuse is not controlled and guided,it may lead to physical abuse but when issues arise among couples that could lead to verbal or physical abuse,they should both have limits.The man should walk away instead of beating the wife!Women too should desist from over-using their tongues when there is disagreement.

    1. Best reply so far. Verbal abuse can lead to physical confrontation. It's more emotional than the physical beating and not every man can withstand such. Man, being an egoistical being gets that ego bruised by the tongue of an abusing woman.

  8. A lot of women who have been abused, remain in those situations because of the emotional abuse. Usually their abuser will have convinced them that no one else will love them, that they have no worth, that they are loved by the abuser. It's really sad, and when we as a society blame them instead of try to instill self esteem, we just reinforce the idea that they aren't good enough.

  9. He should have killed her now since he was provoked?

    When is that even an excuse?

    I guess you could say that since Oscar Pistorious didn't commit murder but homicide; they would get away with it

  10. Sisi... interesting questions... I will ans question 3 and 4. The answer is No. And I will address question 1 and 2. Very valid questions running through the minds of many people. With time and fellowship with the Lord. I have come to understand that both parties need spiritual counselling from the Lord. No form of abuse is acceptable. Any difference has to be address in a amicable manner and civil manner.
    Life has thought me you attract what you have within you. Both parties to me have encounter abuse in their life and have addressed each situation differently. Unfortunately the devil doesn't love mankind. We fail to see that the root of any evil is FEAR... same like in the Garden of Eden. This Fear manifest in different forms. Now we don't know y she shoved him.. but there must be a reason why she took that decision and also same reason why he retaliated.... Fear= you disrespecting me. I believe both parties believed each other not worthily and disrespectful.
    When you don't know your self worth... you react differently to differences. Both couples need to know God loves them, Self worth and let the healing process of their deep wounds be addressed and healed. This is because we are seeing the fruit and not the root of the problem. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self control these are the fruits of the spirit. it's no joke. I pray they have the right counsel with them and definitely heal and change.
    Heard a testimony, about a abusive husband who changed after God paid him a visit at night in a dream.. told him if he touched his wife again... The guy got up apologised to his wife. And held her hands every where she went praising his wife. Until death separated them....
    There is hope for change... but you need to take counsel from the Lord...


Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

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