CONFESSIONS OF THE 'CORPER' THAT SPENT N4,000,000 IN A MALL

It’s not every time I get the luxury of waking up past 8AM. I mean being a Corper teacher in Nigeria is not the most fabulous experience, but today is a public holiday, so scrap it, I was determined to have a good ‘full day’ rest, the kind that not even hunger or some emergency CDS meeting (Community Development Service) would make me stand up from my very comfortable 4 by 5 mattress.



As I prepared to go back to sleep, I rolled over to the edge of my bed, and luckily for me, I found the left overs of my Fayrouzpineapple drink- that could only mean one thing, my housemates were yet to enter my room. Quickly, I downed the drink and picked up the latest addition to my magazine rack, The April issue Of Complete Fashion magazine which I bought because it had my Nollywood idol, the beautiful Omoni Oboli on the cover. As I flipped the cover page, I hear my phone beep. This particular alert only means one thing, “my God don WIN” and it beeps when allowee enters.



But wait o! I don’t get. Is this a miracle alert? This BB won’t stop hanging, my enemies are at work but I shall conquer. Finally, I opened the message…

…Behold! what I saw shocked me to pieces.



It read, ‘Your account has been credited with N4,000,000’. I ran to the bathroom, washed my face and read again. It couldn’t be, the same 6 zeros staring back at me. I wore my traffic Ray Ban glasses 6 zeros still.




N4,000,000 just like that? From who? For what? How? What do I do?



Ok I think I should call my account officer, no.. I should call Fatima she would know what to do. And so I called. “Fatima, my bank just credited my account with N4,000,000 ..I’m confused” The minute I said Naira I heard the phone drop and for someone that takes 2 hours to get to my house, in less than forty-five minutes she was at my door knocking with so much energy.



I asked her why she was so much in a hurry and she replied, “See I no wan know how the money land your account, We gaz spend this thing before dem soji for ya bank”



That was my cue. Like I said Fatima, always knows what to do I played along sharp sharp.



‘Money deserves no respect’ she will yell at us every time we rebuke her for spending so much on shopping.


The cab down to Lekki mall from my corper apartment in Ketu, took less than fifteen minutes, please don’t ask me how. Yes, it had to be Lekki Mall we are big girls now. The moment we got to the mall, the spree began. Like the shopaholics that we are, we were darting in and out of the most expensive shops, swiping my very sleek and rich bank card and filling bags.


What did we not buy? Swarvoski jewelries and purses, Hermes bags, Zannoti Sandals, Micheal Kors Watches, Watchesss o and not to forget the Rolex of my dreams, Christian Louboutins Shoes, MAC make up sets and so much more.


We didn’t stop, for everything we thought we liked or could like, we bought, without thinking twice. This was the life! The good life… we felt like Carrie BradShaw and Samantha of Sex and the City on the loose.


The shopping continued till past 8pm while buying the Prada shoes, one that I have coveted for so long, we got another alert!


We had exhausted every kobo, sad right? But boy did we feel so good looking at all our shopping bags.


As we took a cab back home, we kept screaming with excitement and listing names of friends we were going to taunt; Shola, Ifeoma, Hauwa, Annie, Tega, and every one that have ever mocked us at one point or the other.

Wait o! I hear my name. Who knows me here, or am I famous already? but the voice sounds so familiar, What? the Landlady?


Oh my!


Don’t tell me this is a dream. No it can’t be! Nooooooo


But, wait a minute what if I really had N4M, what will I do with it?


Don’t be a dreamer like me. Fayrouz L’Original competition is giving a team of a designer, a photographer, a make up artist and a model the chance to win 4MILLION NAIRA for real and launch their dreams.


Entries are open to undergraduates, fresh graduates and NYSC members from Nigeria and closes this Saturday May 9, 2015.


The auditions train will make its first stop at the University of Ibadan, Ibadan on Friday May 15 and Saturday May 16 2015 its next stop will be at the University of Port Harcourt on May 22nd and 23rd, then University of Nigeria Enugu on the 29th and 30th , and its final stop at University of Lagos on the 5th and 6th of June 2015


Log on to www.fayrouzloriginal.com/competition for more information. 

Stop dreaming and start achieving.


13 comments

  1. Lol, very funny. She had me.

    BeingZino.blogspot.com

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  2. Sisi yemmie really got me with this post, as I'm reading this I was just smiling & happy as if I'm the one that won the money, until u said u were dreaming smh btw Congrats on ur bouncing baby boy.

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  3. lool.....see me oh, so it was only a dream

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  4. :( what a dream...

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  5. As very creative way to do a post!

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  6. Lol Sisyemmie you had me there. I was smiling at the end, if only this could happen.

    Princess Audu

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  7. and the story would always end with the landlord/landlady waking you from your dream



    READ if l were a boy

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  8. Funny post. Which the money was transferred to you for a purposes by Bobo and he didn't tell you. Please go back to the dream again.

    ReplyDelete

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