How to tell when your housegirl is about to Yapa!

Nor be small tin! I came home (Nigeria) for a short holiday and my blog-threns, what my eyes have seen so far....kai! I will start with this house-help gist. I met a girl when I came in, she has been working with my mom for about 2 weeks now, she comes in often to help out in cleaning the whole house, my parents are usually home by themselves and they have no energy or time to sweep all the rooms in the house. So my mom got this girl that comes once in a while to sweep, mop, wash dishes and GO! yes GO! But i don dey notice kpe e be like say Babym is trying to Yapa si wa l'orun! These are the signs I noticed:

1. She dey smile too much and laughs for no reason. I like staff that are happy working but abeg, hide that your seductive coy laughter somewhere. Oga ask you "Patience how are you"...and na so she go dey laugh life hyena wey dem totori (tickle)....erm, i dont like it, she gats to go!

2. She don turn the coriddor to her runway. She dey swing and sway around the house. Hmmm...I dont mind her walking, but swaying those okpelenge hips is giving me cause for worry. The way she dey twist ehn...Oluchi dem dey learn for their catwalk.


3. She don dey change cloth too much. New new designs, today na deep V-neck she go wear, 2moro na sweetheart neck she go nack, kon arrange all the bobby(boobs) dem well, she don dey wear only C-thru tops (Egbami oh!) the skirts kon dey short, the jeans don dey tight, i fear for her health cos she must be suffocating in those jeans!

4. She don dey hide things. My dad dashed her money twice because on those occassions she had to do extra mopping, washing and cleaning and said she should show Madam oh. Omobabe did not. Madam confronted her and she gave that coy seductive smile and said..."i forget".Hian! Na so e dey start!Mbanu!

5. Her hairstyles don too current and flexible sef. She go do Rihanna, Beyonce, Boys follow me. Make-up gan don pass House of Tara abi na House of Ayamtanga or Karashika.

6. She came in today with perfume! This is the end of Omobabe in this house. I don tell am make she no come again, Biko her services are no longer needed. Na from clap e dey enter dance!Its goodbye. One has to be careful with these helps, especially the ones that live-in withyou. You have to be very observant...and shine your eye before water go pass garri.

Na-who-give-Ekaette-belle is not our portion!!! Amen!

On the other hand, Hamzat the hausa gateman is a nice boy, he is learnng a word of English per week. This week was Thank you. All he ever says to me is "Abinchi" (food) and Thank you. And smiles. lol. All wedo is sign language....my hands are tired from gesticulating wildly. Only if he had an education....sigh. I will encourage him to learn a trade or do something more than just gate keeping.


Question time: Would you prefer a househelp that comes in only when you need one or one that lives in with you?  and why??

46 comments

  1. O my goodness, my tummy is hurting from the laughter! i prefer come and go o, i don't want any story or the wahala of a live in one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I honestly prefer help that comes and goes, me like my privacy too much.

    But come o, na the help you no trust, abi na your male relatives?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Had to laugh at this one! #BananaPeelAlert

      Delete
  3. i do not want a come and go neida would i entertain the idea of a live in. they are not just my thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. anh anh its not fair jor! the babe is feeling herself naw, it's allowed :)
    And i prefer a househelp that comes and goes o!!..the ones that live with you have too much wahala and they'll know so much since they are practically like family.
    so u'r in nigeria right now? *jealous much*

    ReplyDelete
  5. SIsi Yemmie don come again o!!! ..LWTMB... If I would be able to live wvout a househlp, I would o. My mother gave up a long time ago. OThe last time we had a live-in househelp, she confessed to witchery a short while after. Marle say..."Oya pikins, put ur hands to use, no more omo odo". We moved into a bigger house and we the kids had to be in school for the greater portion of the time so she got someone to come in on the weekdays. From like 8-5. For where? She didnt allow them cook o. Na so this babe go collect TB from somewhere. Again, that was the end of the road for that one. The next one nko? As she dey steal compact discs from the living, na hin she dey put used sanitary pad for instead bucket and all oda orisirisi for house. The last one that broke the camel's back.... Calabar girl abi se na benue. na one opelenge thing like that. She starting stealing my clothes and allowing men into the house, saying I was the one who invited them. That was a shikena for Mama HoneyDame. Since then, she only gets one woman to come help wash on every 2 Saturdays or so...and those experiences have made me cynical.

    ReplyDelete
  6. UNGKMO! Live-in househelp? I no do! The wahala of house-help is too much not too talk of one living permanently with u. I think a more mature "come and go" help will do than the sisi eko you just showed the red light...lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahahah... u are hilarious. I don't like live-in o. After all the things I witnessed as a child, mba.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sisi Yemmie, you too much with this description. Chai...

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOLLLLLLLL. Amen to that prayer o.

    Well, if life is that busy...a help that comes and GOES is the preference :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL!! oga o...househelp don get levels ni yen o...lol..i prefer come and go..from experiences in d past

    ReplyDelete
  11. Haha! As in levels! We actually have someone who just comes in every morning and cooks, washes, etc. It's much better than the live-in oh (which we've tried before). Less hassle, more privacy

    Adiya

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yemz, no long tin.
    The solution na: mature (45+), born-again and uniformed (and I don't mean French maid outfit), pay-as-u-go work (best between 11am-3pm. Shikena... Simplez ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ahn Ahn Yemmmisssiee, as for me oh I can do the supervised daytime thing or get someone who comes a few times a week to clean. When I have kids, a beg na live in oh. I no fit fear say village woman go seduce my man. All in all, funny piece.

    ReplyDelete
  14. my parens ve used come n go for years on a monthly salary basis. For me i promised myself that God help me i won't need a made EXCEPT after i have just giving birth. i honestly don't like d palava

    ReplyDelete
  15. Definitely not live in. I prefer 'come and go'.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LOL @ your description of the help!!
    I dont really like help - not my thing. I find they come with toooo much baggage.
    However, if pushed, I'll settle for come and go (cleaning and laundry only)
    I rather do the cooking myself!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lol! Ure are so descriptive! Growing up, we always had the 'Live-ins'. After some ugly incidences, including a possessed one, mama steered clear of 'em n learnt to put her 3 gals to good house keeping since we were now older. Now that most of us have left home, she uses a 'come n go', 7-5. Thats the way forward o!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sisi Yhemmie...who are you trying to protect? your mum from being a senior wife? Your dad from having a second wife? Or yourself from having a step bro or sis?

    As a man, I would prefer my wife and children do everything in the house. House help whether live-in or come and go have their disadvantages. Their disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

    If I have my way, house help should pay for coming to learn in my house. Yes, that's what the parents of most of these house help send them out to go and do. After learning how to cook, take care of house, take care of children, take care of husband, the parents withdraw them and marry them off.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hehehehehehe...I wouldn't worry about housegurl that wants to yapa cos right now i can't even have one.But if i had still been with my folks,wouldn't mind a live in like that one you had who was a 'soji' babe...hehehehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have missed yu so much!
    I don't like maids their wahala too much either live-in or pass as yu go.

    ReplyDelete
  21. No housegirl or houseboy for me ooo, I have heard so many horrible stories about househelp while growing up...my friends always tell me that if I move back to nigeria I will need one....I simply tell them no way. My hand are still working perfectly don't need any help. I can cook, clean, and when the kids come I will surely take care of them with the help of my hubby of my course...but HECK NO TO HOUSEHELP

    ReplyDelete
  22. sisi yemmie u over try for dis one o. egbon surprise na wa o. e reach level of make dem pay u lol. nna i feel u sha u gats turn am to business. as for dem winchi ones, AHH we have had our share o. mumsy gone don try

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hmmm, na make the house help come do im work and carry go me i dey o!
    It aint even the issue of my man getting with her or something, i love my privacy die! I want to come home and walk about in the whatever dress i choose without her eyes following my bakassi and wondering wetin happen.
    Hilarious! Loved it and totally love your blog theme.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Comes and goes, definitely. I would ask the same question Myne is asking?
    I thought this blog was on my blog roll. Long time!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I had a come and go once...chic stool me blind! Cos really, u don't know what they've kept with the meguard and search them all u want, u still won't find nada on them! Anyways, she stole my baffs, foodstuff...name it! I had another come and go...she basically comes to sleeeep in my house. She comes dirty then takes her bath in the house, eats, then sleep till close of work...totally useless to me and I have a baby she was supposed to be minding! And she wasn't young oo....mid thirties or so! Then I had a leave-in about 45yrs of age that did the most evil thing ever...she deliberately striped my 3 year old son naked and rubbed raw peeled yam all over him (mentioned it in my post Career Vs Family...www.hazel-muses.blogspot.com). In all these tho,and esp with little kids involved, I'll rather a live-in! At least, I'll have a bit of control over who they associate with!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Plus check out my blog! I'm a newbie...

    ReplyDelete
  27. lol..funny but serious post as usual.

    ideally i would want a live out help but in the uk they are costly. i currently have a live in au pair that helps take care of princess and with some house work. she is a godsend. i am looking for a new one now cuz she is going back to school (sad)..there's a website i use and once i see ur picture and u don dey look one kain for there i dont make contact.

    i sent baale the picture of one aupair i was already in contact with and he said the girl dey do eyes one kain for picture...quick quick i no contact the girl again...

    may we not use our hand to look for trouble....lol

    ReplyDelete
  28. hahahahahaha..na wa! glad you nipped it at the bud oo!

    I prefer the one that comes & go.. because of the same problem you described above.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sisi Yemmie come write thesis on top the house girl. lol I no blame you jare. Some girls get kurukere plans. Better to abort it at Phase 1 before Phase 2 begins.
    h
    Helps are necessary shaa but it is for the lady of the house to be watchful too.

    ReplyDelete
  30. OMG this babe you will not kill me.Personally I do not like maids, I do most of the house work myself because I do not like strangers cleaning my territory.

    Maybe when i have my football term (future pikins) I will consider the Come and Go maid.

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's funny how all of you have commented on the behaviour of househelps but have you reviewed how you treat them? All human beings CAN be deceitful. Family or not. However, when you treat your househelps with respect and nicely they should (to a reasonable extent) be good to you. In my house we have had badly behaved houshelps but I think it was in reaction to how my mum used to hit them and curse at them. However, in my Grandma's house, she had househelps that stayed with her for years. She sent a couple to craft school. The last 1 is a tailor and she got married. My Grandma used her driver for almost 30 years before she retired. All d past helps turned up for her burial. My aunt's former nanny still comes around when she has financial trouble. The new nanny loves my cousins like they are her kids and they love her in return. The houseboy has been here for 5 years (he recently wrote JAMB) and the househelp 2 years. This comes from the care my aunt and grandma showed these people, treating them like human beings.
    Funny enough, it was even family that disappointed my Grandma the most.
    If you suspect every move, u wld never have peace of mind. Besides, if ur husband should descend as low as to sleep with d househelp (who shld be like a younger sister) you are best without him. That's my opinion

    ReplyDelete
  32. In today's world of career people, its better to have one that comes around, cleans and goes home to her family.

    I'd not take the risk of having someone clean out my valuables while im at work. I mean he/she would have too much time to perpetrate evil since i'll be away to work all day.

    Howver, for retired parents, live-in helps may be better off

    ReplyDelete
  33. But some house helps will misbehave regardless of the treatment you give them. For eg. there was this girl my Mum decided to enrol in evening classes. Her grades were not good at all, so she decided to ask the headmaster to give her extra lessons. Still, her grades were not improving, so the headmaster asked the girl what the problem was, and she replied that it's my Mum who is over-working her at home. No time to read. It was a really unfair lie because we all did our share of cooking, cleaning et al. My Mum has never been the type to leave cooking to us her daughters, let alone a help. And yes, she also used to over-laugh esp with the male folk, like Sisi Yemmie's case study lols! So anyways, some people are just bent on misbehaving.

    I would definitely prefer a come and go help. The less drama the better

    ReplyDelete
  34. looool! anh anh naw; the girl is just current lmao

    I prefer one that comes and goes oh! sometimes, I need my family to myself alone abeg

    ReplyDelete
  35. looool! anh anh naw; the girl is just current lmao

    I prefer one that comes and goes oh! sometimes, I need my family to myself alone abeg

    ReplyDelete
  36. sis yemmie
    I advise you get a houseboy then since he can pretty much do all the other things but cook

    @suprise pay us for training you don kolo lol

    @hazel yam peels thats just damn evil
    off to your bog to get gist lol

    ReplyDelete
  37. abeg abeg e jor o.kosi wahala ra ra.i would prefer her to come and go,but even the come and go ones sef get wahala am telling you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Yemmie!!!!!! you are hilarious! LOL

    Pls let the house girl come in o! and there are clear boundaries, she cant sweep or clean every part of the house.. some areas are simply sacred!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Never been 'under one' but moi will prefer, come n go.Reason:these stories...lol

    ReplyDelete
  40. OMG, laughed till the very end. Na wa for the househelps sha. New follower, if it's okay you could visit my blog sometime.... http://vickyolisa.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  41. just discovered your blog and absolutely love it! my only wish is for translation of some of the words

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mehn, honestly, I don't know oh! My fantasy idea is not to have any - but we both know how over-skill killed the monkey (and his beloved wife).

    So, I'll just wait till then to decide whatever will work for the wife n I!

    For now, I'm my own Akpan - and I'm enjoying every tiny bit of it!

    ReplyDelete
  43. lmao ooo, sis yemmie won't kill me. I dont like house helps ooo, i wish robots would be in vogue soon. My momsy chased all the house girls away after we had the one that said she was a witch. After that, momsy packed all my cousins of the same age from pale's side and her side. Instead of house girl, there were lots of small children in the same age grade that did the job of one house help. With the older children acting as adults and taking care of the younger. She still does it till date. As we have all grown and would soon be done with university and are about moving out, a new set of younger cousins are moving in and filling the blank spaces. I prefer that style abeg. And sh e trained us all oo.At one time we were about 10 children in a house originally meant for 4 children. It was fun. No house girl wahala. But it has its disadvantages sha

    ReplyDelete
  44. Lol that's funny. You're just like me, I analyze and notice every situation. My plan is for as long s i'm young and energetic not to have a house help, but if I should ever need one I think I would prefer for her to come and go.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Who dey find househelp to come stay? omo na work and go o. my question is when we re off to work and the kids off to school, what will she be doing? that is the time they have to start concorting evil, mbanu.
    People with live in househelp abeg open your eyes wellaly o.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

Back to Top