EVERYDAY FOR THE THIEF...

“Oga nor be me oh! I dey go workshop!! Nor kee  (kill) me oh, na workshop i dey go!!!"


Those were the words that woke me up at 3am Wednesday morrin. I hear gun shot, naim i jump up comot from my bed like one kind agile antelope....i dey look left right.,up, down..who,what, how,wetin???!!! I run go the verandah and what do I see? My parents, neighbours and some unknown men flogging crase comot one guy body. Ahn ahn, this is 3am na, wetin dem dey flog this guy for na? Shooo....the guy dey hala! If evo (evil) spirit dey him body, d tin for don comot that night, even if evo (evil) spirit nor dey, he for confess winchcraft....cos the koboko wey dey wipe the guy ehn...nor be here oh!


Apparently, our compound was being robbed -the tenants majorly cos they lived in  bungalows....some guys had scaled through the fence, cut a hole through the windows and threatened the families at gun point to give up their phones, money and other items.  My bingo sniffed them out and would not stop barking...it kept barking around my parents bedroom till they woke up. It succeeded cos when that doggie decides to sit on a matter ehn, na u go tire.  My parents called the neighbors on the phone...some of them didn’t pick, some were switched off (no light, so low battery). One of the tenants however sent a text. CALL POLICE!!!
 
Police no gree come, e be like say fuel no dey dia moto, but popsman called the vigilante's and na so these guys sniffed round the compound and caught ogbeni i-dey-go-workshop in the bushes right behind the fence. He claimed he was going to the workshop, that he was an apprentice mechanic, them beat shege comot from d guy body, he still dey hala “i dey go workshop”...lol. Which workshop dey open by 3am ? he say he be apprentice. He be like say na armed robber apprentice he dey learn for 3am oru (night). Oya now, they waited till 6am and took him round all the workshops he claimed to be learning his trade...everybody deny am.lol. Una nor see say he don red for the guy???

They brought him back to our compound and put a tyre around his neck to set him ablaze, naim my mama hala say no oh...we don’t want bloodshed on this land...na suya???? So they carried him far away...perhaps he was burnt to death, perhaps he wasn’t, I don’t know. All I know say na everyday for the thief, one day for the owner. This is NOT the first time they are terrorizing our neighbours.

In the midst of all these adrenaline-pumping moments...we all (neighbours kon dey discuss):
  • 1.         -We couldn’t hear the robbers scaling through the fence and cutting windows cos everybody turn on their generator. If not that bingo chop eba that night, e for no get power to bark almost one hour non-stop.
  • 2.        -The streets were pitch dark, if only we had constant electricity to power street lights, or if the government invests in solar energy, robbers would find it hard to operate cos y’all know that darkness is the perfect cover for evil works.
  • 3.       I thought Police was our friend? If we call police and they cant come to our aid, then wahala dey.  Why dem no go get fuel for moto? Thank God streets come up with the idea of vigilante's, frankly they are more effective than any police I know.
Most of our problems in 9ja start with lack of constant electricity. Whoever wins this election last last had better light up 9ja or else???!!!

Ps. Bingo was the star of the day and got extra ori eja (fish head) from all the neighbours.



40 comments

  1. Sisi Yemmie, do I get an award for being here seconds after you post this?

    1. Why do Nigerians typically name their dogs Bingo? #chai

    2. I hope he was not killed...I know Lagosians and their stance on Jungle Justice. But I really hope he got another chance to straighten out.

    3. Bless dogs...

    4. How are you?

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  2. Na wa oh
    This armed robbery issue really scares me oh.
    My dream home is a bungalow but because of security issues, this has been reconsidered
    Anyway, thank God for bingo

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  3. Lol!!!!Bingo the man!!!!Btw,i tink say na vacation you go do for naija.Ds your vacation don dey too long o!!!!Abeg,return to Base!!

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  4. Na wa o, these armed robbers sef. I do hope though that he was taken to the police rather than killed in such a gruesome way.

    naija has issues plenty...

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  5. You just explained a serious matter in your usual funny way *laughing* .......ok, done with laughing, but seriously sha, i THANK GOD for using bingo to alert people...police friend ni? friend ko?..mschew! He was definitely burnt or matcheted , they don't pity them...they can take him to the police station if they were pleaded with...but...workshop at 3;ooam?...he dey craze!

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  6. Lmao, serves him right! welcome back Sisi Yemmie.

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  7. Eh yah Yemmie I so thank God for this your story that it ended in a funny way like this. God will continue to protect his own.
    Seriously, me I already have my question marks for Goodluck, it's not about winning o, it's about using that office effectively.

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  8. Yay for Bingo lol! He deserves all that extra food. Na wa oh, i can't believe you guys even expected police to show- their style is to wait till the thieves leave. Chai, so what happened to the thief lol.

    Adiya

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  9. Which kind of workshop is that? I just hope they didn't kill him sha...

    Hmm, police is our friend from reverse...

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  10. loool... it's not funny but then again the way u call ur dog bingo is and d ori Eja lol

    Ya, I agree with u on this one; they better light up Naija. Police is def. useless like extremely ... I hope something is done about the indiscipline and gluttony of leaders. I pray things change


    Anyways,thank God for Bingo and d vigilante. hope the man wasn't burnt down tho

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  11. Up Bingo! Down NEPA * or PHCN as they prefer to be called these days*. Liked the way you narrated one of our main issues in Naija, POWER SUPPLY or lack of.Just pray that the Goodluck can do something about it.
    The armed robber apprentice who claimed to be a mechanic apprentice going to workshop at 3am, him dey trek from ikorodu go VI?
    Thanks for visiting my blog. I like that you do your posts in my language.

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  12. Naija!!! We will get there...very funny, lessons learnt.

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  13. mixed feelings o - the robber definitely deserved the beating, but burnt alive? barbaric! if things were better in the country, would he have been pushed to armed robbery? anyways I found myself laughing at your story sha. how u dey?

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  14. Police no get petrol! abi na dem be the robbers gaan!

    Lol @ Bingo!

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  15. lol nigerian police are jst useless. I even heard some of them cooperate with robbers as lng as the robbers promise to give them their share. I blame poverty sha, if they pay the police wella, they'll be more efficient in their jobs.
    lol, the thief has learnt his lesson for sure. Hopefully he wasnt killed sha..

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  16. lol at Bingo Chop Eba,every dog in 9ja is called Bingo.!!!..Hmm 9ja, i dont know what people haven`t said,there have been suggestions of all sorts but still the light issue is still a major problem,well thank God they caught the workshop thief..as for me i better try visit 9ja before my 9janohpobia "Fear of visiting Nigeria" goes to the next level.

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  17. I just gave you an award. check it out on my blog.
    www.juststories4u.blogspot.com

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  18. Bingo did a great job oo. all these armed robbers hen, Security/safety in that country needs immediate overhaul. God dey!

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  19. Armed Robbers and thieves... Hmm... Whenever I see mob justice, I wonder what drives a man to go out in the middle of the night knowing that should he get caught, it will be his last night.

    I know no one should take another's life but these same armed robbers will not spare you. Raping and killing at will after taking what they want... It's hard to be objective on mob justice.

    God be with us all...

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  20. first time here!
    smh at 9ja police.
    Do they even have a proper contact number? sigh

    Thank God the thief didn't succeed

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  21. Very very funny post but you address some really serious and basic problems facing Nigerians. How can anyone hear above the din of generator noise. I will be suprised if some children are not born with hearing loss.

    Yay for Bingo!

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  22. Sisi Yemmie, thank God for una life o. 7 gbosas for Bingo! Thank God say pesin wey suppose feed am no forget, im for dey sleep in vexation. Apprentice ni, apprentice ko, I wouldnt wish him death but he lives in an lawless country so he should've known the consequences of his actions.

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  23. I was thinking what he's not the one - until I got to the bit where he was taken to all workshops in town, lol. Still I'm relieved that they did not put the tyre on him. Better to let the police deal with it.

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  24. Useful blog website, keep me personally through searching it, I am seriously interested to find out another recommendation of it.

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  25. Hahaha....what a "pun"....play on words sha. I love the twist cos really our country deserves to experience constant power supply and better security. Hmm, GOD MUST HELP US!

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  26. It succeeded cos when that doggie decides to sit on a matter ehn, na u go tire. HA HA HA.

    If not that bingo chop eba that night, e for no get power to bark almost one hour non-stop.

    OH MY GOODNESS, you're too FUNNY! KAI! Eyahhhh...Bingo got fish-head.

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  27. Na serious matter na him you write wey funny like this.

    Bingo deserves extra fish oh.

    Nigerians and jungle justice.

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  28. Ahahaah ..Hilarious and thank God for Mr Bingo...Only God can save us. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the wishes....

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  29. Aaaaw I like happy endings though that robbery must've been so scary :( Glad everyone is ok - your dog is a genius xx

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  30. smh for naija police, they too dey fuck up!

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  31. 3 GBOSAS for Bingo!
    GBOSA! GBOSA!! GBOSA!!!

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  32. *lets raise a glass* to all bingos out there!...luv your blog

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  33. I no dey too friendly with dogs but if I see bingo, I go give am knuckle chop. Na im biko.

    As for police, I don't even think about them as a solution to distress.....waste of time.

    Really, Naija needs to be lit! Basic amenities abeg! Haa!

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  34. oh my I hope the guy wasnt killed! this is one serious matter but look how u made it look like one of B-mouth's jokes! lol

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  35. Why did they burn him now? They should have killed him, put him inside freezer or cold room or motuary, then prepare the meat for Bingo small small till bingo go finish the meat. Afterall Bingo is the star, they should have allowed Bingo to reap the fruit of his Labour.

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  36. i'm a newee in blogging.ad to vote for a friend after much soliciting in the Naija blogs award then came across u in so many categories and decided to check it out and since yesterday av been reeling in lafta. its fantastic comic relief wen u work in my kind of lawfirm. and its also entertaining and damn original. I dont flatter and i'm not easily impressed but must say Sisi u r doing a good job. kilode

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