IF IT WERE YOU...?


Sigh...Im sure y'all know the tory about the oyinbo blue-eyed-blonde-baby that one 9ja couple produced, how they did it, I have no clue. Once again, we Nigerian's make international headlines with unusual news stories...first it was our pata (underwear) bomber, then our super eaglets at the SA World Cup...now this! We have actually produced a white baby! Bravo Bravo! I'm actually waiting for the end of that story cos we know say e no go end there. Na so oh, that night after reading the news I went to bed and na so I dream kpe...

Fastforward to JULY 2021

I was pregnant with my 5th child oh and hubby and  I were so excited about it- he had succeeded in naming our first 4 kids who were boys and I was so glad to be the one in charge of this one. Infact, I don get the pikin name since wey I dey secondary school, she was to be named 'Pearl' after one fine half-caste babe like this for my primary school dat time, so I believe say If I name my pikin after her, she go fine too. I was just excited about this baby, period. How can my hubby score goal four times and dem be boys? no even penality for me? I announced to everyone that I was having a girl and I begged all the fine girls in my church to be rubbing my belle while I waka far from dose wey wowo bellup them.


The duration of the pregnancy was very beautiful  and hitch free except my nose was bigger and I ate for 3! Finally the delivery day comes. And goes. I begin to wonder whats wrong, but hubby tries to stop my worrying by saying that most special children are born past their due date and that its completely normal. Well, he's a doctor, so I believe him. On the 2nd week past the due date, I was licking mango when suddenly, I felt something wet trickling down my thighs...ah! my blo blo has burst! Sorry,(in posh british accent-my water has brake.lol) I scream excitedly while one of my son's quickly called out "daddy, mummy is weeweeing". Hubby races in and off to the hospital we go.

I won't bore you with gory details of my labour, all I know is that somewhere in between I cursed my hubby, I insulted Eve for bringing this pain upon all women and I tried to push when the nurse shouted 'PUSH'! Suddenly the nurse eye wide as if she don see ojuju...I was wondering  'what again'? na monkey I born abi na so d pikin wowo? Hubby was blinking in stupendous disbelief, while every other person was waiting for an explanation from me. My baby was white! Alu!!! Ewo!!! Even me I looked at the baby as the nurse handed her to me and I asked "sorry, please where is my child"? And the blue-eyed-blond pikin was handed over to me. I could not breathe. This has got to be some badly directed African Magic movie! So this child was mine? why are her eyes blue? why is she blonde...she's cute but ,WTH!!!??? Somebody talk to me!  I turned to look at hubby but he had since left the room.

An hour later my mom enters the ward and whispers in my ears, "my child, just tell me and I wont tell anyone, did u have relations with bomboy?" Bomboy was our albino gateman. "No mum," I screamed. Why she go dey ask me this kain question? bomboy wey get body odour?infact wetin dem take me for sef? She left in a daze annoyed that I would so blantantly lie to her...my father did not come- I heard he disowned me immediately he heard I don born oyinbo. My in-laws came to see for themselves the 'story of shame' as they would like to put it. 

Dr Maurice, a renowned geneticist who did a test on me earlier on ,comes in to visit me with the DNA results for the paternity of my baby...and yes, the baby was my husbands! and he had alot to say about my 'miracle white bombshell' and how genetics had bamboozled the whole world and yada yada yada...Before I knew, reporters don carry the news oh, warri FM, NTA, even CNN sef don hear. I forgave hubby and everyone for thinking I was an adultress. Suddenly, in walks Oprah...OMG! The paparazzi starts taking pictures but the lights from the flashes were bothersome so I kept blinking...
Rewind to JULY 2010
Na so I wake oh! Infact na the sunlight from my window wake me sef, not any nonsense paparazzi and I was wondering to myself, 'true true if na me born that pikin, wetin for happun? If na you, or your wife?' ,

Ps. I dont think the baby is weird or anything evil...I actually feel she is a miracle!  :)


27 comments

  1. One crazy dream. But, I would be thrilled even if SHOCK will be my first reaction. At least, no one can accuse me of cheating because the baby is not mixed or anything. So, it's prolly a mutation.

    And, I was quite sad that in the dream, your first reaction towards 'bomboy' was that he had body odour. I'm writing about an albino and this stigma in the dream worries me.

    And your pidgin is fantastic.

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  2. Lollllll....wat a dream!!!
    If it were me, i'll probably pass out from shock... after going through 9 mos, the pain and labor and I push out a white baby?

    I would think someone jazz-ed me o!

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  3. MY APOLOGIES!!! I'm New here so I can always be forgiven if the post below is too sad or ????????? Just a few life encounters people would have gone through with specifics...

    Life Encounters, After we kick off from infants
    *************************************************
    She's 26 desperately looking for a husband so she can help the family, he's 36 still trying to catch up / set his future, she's a 22 year old widow with 2kids on her own, he's 32 & still searching for the right woman, she's a mother at 18, she's 29 & chased back to her mothers house, he's 21 broke with 2 baby mama's, she 28, married & can't give birth due to her terrible sex life in the past, he's 38 & married to a whore for 7years, she's 21 & married to a man she don't love, 2yrs later he introduces a 2nd wife, there're so much in love but they both cheat & they still don't knw about it till now, she 43 still looking for a life partner, she 25 & 'bout to get married happy but she don't know that she's got HIV, she's 24 happy she getting married 2days after the marriage she finds out her husband is a beater & brusher cos she forgot to turn on the heater, He's 35 just married happily 1yr after he looses he's job, wifey ran off with what's left of him, He's 38 happily married but financially low so wifey lays a helping hand lil did he knw's she gets the money from aristocracy, she's young 24 just married happy 10yrs after she has given birth to 6girls hubby thinking 'bout one last try she's scared cos the last try determines the length of their 10yrs marriage, he's 43 rich happily married for 18yrs with 2boys 1girl till efcc came to the picture & ceased all his properties & money now the family live on the street 5miles after oshodi to be precise. She's 39(last hope) 'bout to wed at the altar & hubby fell down & died. There's more.... FutureExpress.

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  4. lol....this your drem sef...am also waiting for my tori o!e neva finish.

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  5. What a dream! Well that is all it is - A DREAM!

    But this couple matter be as e get o! Looking at the pictures on line, I am of the opinion that that child is another specie of albino! Period. Oyinbo children no de get hair go head!

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  6. Sisi Yemmie, I cant help but think that you're likening this to something bad i.e underwear bomber.

    I dont think this is a bad thing. The child is first and foremost a person and it's a thing of joy. Am sure the parents would have conducted a DNA test before going public.

    Yes it's bizarre that a black couple have given birth to a white baby who doesn't seem to be an albino. However life has shown us time and time over that exceptional things do happen and this is simply one of them.In fact, this is not the first time it will happen. A black child was born to white parents in Aparthied SA in 1955. Even though there was no DNA then, they were able to prove through blood tests that the child wasn't illegitimate.

    If this happened to me, yes I'll be shocked but I will still see it as a blessing and love the child.

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  7. Parakeet...no, im not likening it to something bad, I just feel it is unusual...its an unusual story- i personally feel the baby is a miracle! Im only trying to put myself in the mother's shoe...cos so many people are accusing her of infidelity. Thanks for reading always!

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  8. ...ah SistaYemmie, u like quarell oh...see dream...
    i can understand the situation, if i was there when my wife brought forth a 'white' baby, i prolly would secretlty ask the doctor for a paternity test before i start mouthing off
    In Africa, accusing a woman of infidelity is far far grave than she accusing the man of the same
    well, like you said, this story is not yet over

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  9. Lollll....very funny dream. Thank God it wasn't real cos if say na real life...ah!!! Gbese!!! All these 9ja husbands 2day(esp my ibo brothers), u must explain whose baby it is o. Thank God Nmachi's parents are living in the UK, at least small civilisation don touch d guy. Besides jst lyk one joke of a chinese couple living in 9ja dt gave birth to a black baby, d man asked hw come d baby is black, d wife's response was..Nepa take light, u hot, I hot...so baby burn(lollzzz). Likewise, since these couple are in UK, the weather is very cold so wife cold, husband cold...so baby white. Abeg, lemme get bak to work. Nice one Yemmie

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  10. Sisi Yemmie!
    I don laff die. first time here and i love ur pidgin.

    lol @ ur dream, if na me, first na shock, slap the nurse for bringing another person's baby to me, then after am told its mine, i will start to rebuke d devil and speak in tongues to change it back.

    after dna says na my Oga own, then i will cuddle baby and thank God and ask wetin happen and then generally be happy that i born miracle. i shall like Oprah too. lol

    thanks for stopping by mine, really love this spot!

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  11. Lollll!!! What a dream, thank God say na dream cos u for explain. reminds me of a joke abt a chinese couple livin in 9ja who gave birth to a black baby, the guy was also perplexed and needed answers. His wife simply said ''Nepa take light, u hot...I hot...baby burn(lolll). In d same manner, since d black couple live in UK, ther's constant light so AC too cold, the weather too join so the man cold...the wife cold...the baby freeze (best explanation). Sisi Yemmie!!!! Go gurl...

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  12. Lol.

    The whole thing is really interesting. But then, you can't really put anything past Oba On'ise Ara. Abi?

    Have a lovely weekend.

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  13. U no go kill persn..culdnt stop laughing..specially bt d blo blo part..u rock girl..keep it up

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  14. Well it is really unusual and we still don't have the end of it.

    Nice writing on the dream too, I liked the pidgin, lol...

    Have a great weekend.

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  15. When I saw it in the paper I was like wow. A blessing but at the same time my feelings would be torn if that was me.

    Nogo xx

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  16. You need a sentence... lol
    See dream o. lol. Can that be a result of mutation? I doubt!

    - LDP

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  17. Hahahahaha!!!!!

    Awesome read!!!!

    I totally loved this. By the way, this your dream o...

    You know say some dreams dey happen?hehe

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  18. LOL!this absolutely a serious case.

    Thank God you left out the labour process...

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  19. shei you? You no go kill person!
    But how in the world did that happen?
    Even scientifically, is it possible?
    Na wao, wonders they say, will never truly end..

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  20. hahahha yemisis u don come again o--LOl @ bomboys's BO--buhahhahah!!!
    So u go to bed thinking of sumn nd dream about it?--quite familiar!!!
    But u sure know how to tell a good story sha!!
    xx

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  21. Yemmie you no go kill person, thank God you left the labour part out...your blog makes my day any time

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  22. LOL. Na real dream.

    Funny!

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  23. shey you know say for this side, dem go talk say to dream dat kain dream, na bad thing? lol.. Seriously, though, I think it's just God's way of telling us to shut our pieholes about who's black or who's white... We're all the same, no marra the color of our skin. According to onebori like dis, "it don't marra wheda de cat is black or white; all dat marra is dat de rat is killed!" o dabe!

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  24. ROTFL...you are so funny...if it was you, for real, what would you have done? It's kinda hard to believe but miracles happen everyday...hopefully science would have an explanation one day. If it was only skin color, it would have been easier to explain :-)

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  25. you're so funny and i can imagine that is how the story went..
    visit by mine and follow if you like

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  26. you actually just changed my mind with your post. thank you. I just realized now that i judged the woman, when i had no right to do so.
    Tnks a lot!!!
    if it were me indeed...!

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