RIP CD JOHN- WATCH HIM HERE

His Jokes cracked me up!!!!!!!! So sad he's gone!!!!

THIS JOKE HAD ME ROTFL!!!!!



LOL



"The very talented comedian died this morning from injuries sustained in a car crash.
Eye witness report says the comedians car crashed into a carelessly parked car on wednesday night march 23,2011.
John was the one driving and he had other passengers in the car but he was the only one who died.
This morning thursday march 24,2011,his mother has gone to the hospital to sign the death certificate.....so sad!..God please give his family the strenght to bear the loss of their first child and breadwinner!" SNG!


Im sad that he's dead but glad that he happened!
RIP!!!

HUMMER- I'M A STYLIST IN BED!!!! O_o

 I cannot remember how many times I have almost been killed just by opening my email. People can be killed in more ways than one. Before, Sisi used to kpeme once in two weeks, from all those Chain emails I used to get. You know dem na...."forward to at least 20 people if not you will have bad news by tomorrow morning". Odiegwu! When i just started using technology in the early 2000, I used to be soooo scared when I read those messages ehn, my past mumu self will now be rigorously searching for emails addresses to forward to! But now I don wise....once I see FWD: in front of message, na delete kia kia! So na me Bill Gates love pass for this world soootaay he wan put me in his will if I fwd the message to 100 people abi??? I carry yansh for una!

Any how sha since I join the Association of BlackBerry Babes (Gbobgbo Bigs tinz) I have been getting some kain FWD messages ehn....some are cute: "Describe me in one word, and send it back to me! send this to all your friends and see what they think about YOU too!"... Some na FWD or DIE, sending Pastorly messages kon add jara threat at the end..."If u love Jesus pass it on or else your prayers will not be answered! But there are some on another level that I just have to GISTDOTCOM about dem. Shooooooo! Wetin pesin eye no go see these days? Anybody waiting for me to seriously update my status with the messages below are simply sleeping on Okada!

Brethren, see me see trouble, I dey hol-my-side wey pesin just send me this message:

1) "Now its time 4d girls to get pretty wild while confusing the guys....not snitchin bitches(guess im already a snitch!)

HONDA.  I'm a bisexual3-|
CAMRY.  Ma man is borin in bed :(
RANGE ROVER.  I easily get wet :$
VOLVO.  I hate sex X_X
BENTLEY. Ma man fucks hard <3
ROLLS ROYCE. I luv sex (*)
INFINITY. I'm a fuckin lesbo :D
CARDILAC. I luv threesome :*
MERCEDES. I can go countless rounds a day (y)
HUMMER.  I'm a stylist in bed \=D/
MOTOR CYCLE.  I'm borin in bed:|

2) Put ur month as ur status.    Now its time 4d gurls 2get pretty wild while confusin d guys...
 JANUARY = SLUT
FEBRUARY = ATTITUDE. 
MARCH = FLIRTATIOUS. 
APRIL = FIERY. 
MAY = PORNSTARS. 
JUNE = THE BEST .
JULY = HOTTIE. 
AUGUST = THUG.
SEPTEMBER = LOVER. 
OCTOBER -PERFECT. 
NOVEMBER = PASSIONATE. 
DECEMBER = FREAK IN BED.

3) Ladies lets have a little fun with the status and make the guys really confused because they hate it when women start putting similar status on and they have no idea what were talking about.
The idea is you put how many cms depending on your mood:
12cm = completely crazy
13cm = Sleepy
14cm = bored at home or at work
15cm = Party time
16cm = missing my ex
17cm = really happy
18cm = studying or working
19cm = I'm stupidly in love
20cm = Sexually satisfied
21cm = in love with the wrong man
22cm = with my boyfriend but in love with somebody else
23cm = want sex
24cm = really happy with my love

Bia! So they think i don't know the plan ehn? I will now say im BENTLEY so that all these girls that are 14cm and are MARCH, JANUARY and ROLLS ROYCE  will now go and kolobi my Bobo for corner joint?! Mbanu! I am not 12cm!!! Abeg make una park well! These days wey babe eye dey chook! Girls are not smiling oh!

Now share this my post on twitter and facebook within 10 minutes or else ...
 1 minute- you are safe and will have good fortune!
3-5 minutes- Your apple will taste like agbalumo
7-9 minutes craw-craw go cover your whole face and yansh!!!
 10 minutes and over- you will dream of me every night till you SHARE!

PS. Keep the FWD messages coming....some make my day!

HOW I SPENT £2500 ON A BAG!!!

...NOT! lol. I'm only dreaming, I'm definitely not crazy! £2500 on a bag??!Seriously!!!! Oya now, my close friends know I have been hunting for a bag lately(siiiince last year lol), there is no shop wey i never enter. I go enter look price tag comot. Shoooooooo. I go enter shop, as the weather cold reach i go dey sweat! Why?!I enter House of Fraser for London, na so as i enter i notice kpe the atmosphere different from Primark so I comport myself. I try to take in air and act like a big chic that I am (Gulp!) Na so I see one bag and I got that feeling- you know the feeling you get wey you see fine girl/dude and just as he/she is about to say hello to you, the girl/boyfriend shows face! LOL. I got a big slap on my face when I saw that the bag was £2500! (Insert flabbergasted face). The sales lady just waka near me (she could tell all was not well)

Mulberry Lady :Are you alright?
Me: i beg your pardon? (i have to beg na, shoooo £2500?)
Mulberry Lady: Can I help you with any of the bags?
Me: Oh no, thank you, i haven't found one i like (with L-I-A-R boldy written on my face)lol
And then I walk away quietly...humbly...annoyed! and all I just wanted to say is : WHO DA HECK IS MULBERRY???Who GUCCI be? CALVIN KLEIN na god? PRADA get 2 head? Even if the bag is made of gold nko? shuoooooo!

Na so I see one girl for facebook, have u guys noticed the polo shirts? not the pidgin polo oh. lol. I say the Ralph Lauren one? So many people are sampling theirs. Me I kuku did not know the name before, all I know is that people are wearing tee shirt wey get one horse or man wey dey hold cane.So i say to myself,kai!this must be designers. I kon go google, i almost jump out of my chair like say fire burn my nyash! Whaaaaaaaat?Ordinary Tshirt na £120?kpe kini? Becos dey draw man and horse? The bigger the horse sef the higher the price. I just jejely go buy my usual Tshirt kon tell my friend say I don buy Polo shirt oh, I am now on the big girls league!lol.

Friend : oh where is the polo shirt?
Me: Cant you see?
Friend: But this is plain!(pointing at my Tshirt)

Me: Well the horse and the man have rode away...!Hian!lol

Na so so designers everywhere, and I never see people wey like designers pass Nigerians! GUCCI sunshades, FENDI shoes, LV bags, LOUBOUTIN shoes, CALVIN KLEIN perfumes....the list is endless! Designer labels everywhere, sotay Aba/Ontisha people have started their own too GUGGI, FENDU, CALVIN KLIN....lol. On a serious note, this is too much money we are spending on things that have no REAL value, material things! We ignore orphans, charities and refuse to give aid to the needy but we can spend all our money wearing just a LABEL. That is what it is. LABEL! If they ask some label-wearing person to show their account balance here now, na zero kobo go dey! No Savings! Its about getting the new season's bag! Who did all this classification sef? "Oh...that dress is so last summer!" E concern you? I have clothes Ive been wearing since 2007 and they have refused to spoil or tear, yet no be designers.

Sadly, its mostly the youths doing this. How many of our parents wore designers at age 20? if we gather the money we spend on these labels e reach for some people to buy land. But no! We want to Wear Designers. We want to show off. We want people to know we are BIIGSSS. Show me your Account balance na! Hian!This is part of what leads to YahooYahoo.


I will not kill myelf, I have figured out why I don't have a bag yet, nor be say bag nor full market, the one wey I like my pocket no reach! lol. Next time you are about to buy something ask yourself, Am I buying a product or buying a BRAND?!

WHICH IS EASIER? BELLE FIRST OR MARRIAGE?

                   OR             

I am here again! I know some people are already saying...ah! Sisi Yemmie haf carried belle oh....! Before una go carry kpangolo dey knack round village square, no be so! I was talking with a friend of mine and she was ranting about how much she's got to spend getting married because of all the ceremonies. Seriously! Weddings have been going on since the beginning of time, you would think things get easier but NO! We have to go through the whoooooole process! Hian! Bellanaija is not helping matters with all these lavish weddings they showcase.

So first is the Introduction, which I think is just an opportunity for people to spend money sha feeding uncles and aunties that we will still see on the wedding day. How about we have a video conference on skype?? "Hey great grand uncle Lagbaja, meet my fiance Bobo"...and then they high five the screen. How about that?! It costs money to pay for the T-Fare for these people (yes u will b the one footing the bill for some), you will house them, feed them, I think its a waste of expenses. 

 Secondly is the Registry which all mothers will warn their pikins to do registry if you don't want mago mago when you are married! Yeah, I support the registry, but it is still another avenue for spending money. Cos people will want to escourt you reach there and you cant' tell them oya bye bye from the court,  without entertaining them!lol. Best thing sha just fix am for Monday morrin, make we see who wan play with their job. Desperate time calls for desperate measures.

Thirdly comes the Traditional. Personally, this is the one I like. I love my Yoruba culture...u don see proper yoruba wedding before?I cant give that up for anything! I'd rather spend 70% of my budget on the Trad sha. But seriously, does kola have to cost so much? does the aeroplane bringing the bride have to spoil in the air? (typical yoruba weddings) whishh kain sosoliso be that na and all to drag more money from the Bobo. lol. I guess thats the fun part and I xpect it at mine- they should not sha Crash the plane.! Bobo sort them out please, and don't spray 50 naira notes before dem call you stingy man biko.lol

Forthly comes White Wedding, which to be honest I think Pastor should come for Trad wedding   ("Where two or three are gathered in my name, the Lord is with them"... Matthew 18:20)   and do the blessings once and for all so that we don't have to rent hall twice or kill Melu (cow) twice becos its the same people that chop the rice Friday that will still come Saturday with Ghana-Must-Go bags to "take away".  If we do the ceremony once, food go reach for all Uninvited Mogbo Mo ya guests.

I have purposely omitted this new Pre-wedding abi Post Wedding party people do now. Una no go kill person. When a young couple sees all these ceremonies and expenses in front of them, tell me which one they will think is easier? To do the wedding or just carry belle make everybody answer their papa name? When pesin carry belle all these protocols will dissappear and you will start hearing things like "all that is important is that you are in the Man's house.lol.

For those who have scaled thru, I  hail! For those like me who are yet to,God help us!

DISCLAIMER! Idid not say im going to carry belle oh, and im not saying you should go and carry belle too.lol