I cannot remember how many times I have almost been killed just by opening my email. People can be killed in more ways than one. Before, Sisi used to kpeme once in two weeks, from all those Chain emails I used to get. You know dem na...."forward to at least 20 people if not you will have bad news by tomorrow morning". Odiegwu! When i just started using technology in the early 2000, I used to be soooo scared when I read those messages ehn, my past mumu self will now be rigorously searching for emails addresses to forward to! But now I don wise....once I see FWD: in front of message, na delete kia kia! So na me Bill Gates love pass for this world soootaay he wan put me in his will if I fwd the message to 100 people abi??? I carry yansh for una!

Any how sha since I join the Association of BlackBerry Babes (Gbobgbo Bigs tinz) I have been getting some kain FWD messages ehn....some are cute: "Describe me in one word, and send it back to me! send this to all your friends and see what they think about YOU too!"... Some na FWD or DIE, sending Pastorly messages kon add jara threat at the end..."If u love Jesus pass it on or else your prayers will not be answered! But there are some on another level that I just have to GISTDOTCOM about dem. Shooooooo! Wetin pesin eye no go see these days? Anybody waiting for me to seriously update my status with the messages below are simply sleeping on Okada!

Brethren, see me see trouble, I dey hol-my-side wey pesin just send me this message:
1) "Now its time 4d girls to get pretty wild while confusing the guys....not snitchin bitches(guess im already a snitch!)
HONDA.  I'm a bisexual3-|
CAMRY.  Ma man is borin in bed :(
RANGE ROVER.  I easily get wet :$
VOLVO.  I hate sex X_X
BENTLEY. Ma man fucks hard <3
ROLLS ROYCE. I luv sex (*)
INFINITY. I'm a fuckin lesbo :D
CARDILAC. I luv threesome :*
MERCEDES. I can go countless rounds a day (y)
HUMMER.  I'm a stylist in bed \=D/
MOTOR CYCLE.  I'm borin in bed:|

2) Put ur month as ur status.    Now its time 4d gurls 2get pretty wild while confusin d guys...


3) Ladies lets have a little fun with the status and make the guys really confused because they hate it when women start putting similar status on and they have no idea what were talking about.
The idea is you put how many cms depending on your mood:
12cm = completely crazy
13cm = Sleepy
14cm = bored at home or at work
15cm = Party time
16cm = missing my ex
17cm = really happy
18cm = studying or working
19cm = I'm stupidly in love
20cm = Sexually satisfied
21cm = in love with the wrong man
22cm = with my boyfriend but in love with somebody else
23cm = want sex
24cm = really happy with my love

Bia! So they think i don't know the plan ehn? I will now say im BENTLEY so that all these girls that are 14cm and are MARCH, JANUARY and ROLLS ROYCE  will now go and kolobi my Bobo for corner joint?! Mbanu! I am not 12cm!!! Abeg make una park well! These days wey babe eye dey chook! Girls are not smiling oh!

Now share this my post on twitter and facebook within 10 minutes or else ...
 1 minute- you are safe and will have good fortune!
3-5 minutes- Your apple will taste like agbalumo
7-9 minutes craw-craw go cover your whole face and yansh!!!
 10 minutes and over- you will dream of me every night till you SHARE!

PS. Keep the FWD messages coming....some make my day!


  1. LWKMD... hahahahhahahah... I get some of these messages on the daily. I just shake my head and ignore.
    LWKMD @"3-5 minutes- Your apple will taste like agbalumo"
    CHAIIII...9ja sha.

  2. lol... finally am d first on ur blog
    I never got the first 2 broadcasts, but i got d 3rd one n i was quick to update my status with "24cm x 10 x 10" so all d haters can talk
    but the first 2 is strictly for crazy garls.

  3. hmm I know this is Chick zone but thanks for the intel..all those statuses U girls put up at times can be harder that waec N SAT

  4. LOL at this post.

    When I saw the title, I quickly abandoned all I was doing to come and learn from a stylist in bed. LOL

    Sisi Yemmie, which of the categories do you belong to. I am just asking for asking sake o.

  5. rotfl.the ones i that annoy me most are if you love God and all this coded ways ladies use is new to me o....lmao @ sleeping on Okada

  6. LMAO @ Girls are not smiling oh! THey ain't smiling at all. Nice one

  7. Nice one. I won't mind my "apple tasting like agbalumo" for I'm in awe after reading of some of those messages.

  8. lol..this lady! ur own crase no get part two...

    "craw craw will cover your face and nyash"

    love your blog biko!

  9. Lol @ "Gbobgbo Bigs tinz" Ha ha're too FUNNY.

    Lol @ "But now I don wise....once I see FWD: in front of message, na delete kia kia!"

    I don't read forwarded messages except it's from my dad. And that's all there is to it.

  10. LWKMD! sisi yemmie UNGKM...i agree with you, girls are not smiling, them dey vex

  11. shiooooooo!..hahahahahhahahahaaaaaa

    yemmie! you come take style style send am to blogsville world abi?

    i do delete such immediately i see it,becox i have only 5 people that e-mail to,so......

  12. i got aome similar ones recently, and I just deleted and moved on. I guess the BB is really shaking some people. I saw the movie and LWKMD!

  13. hehe too funny.....sure the ladies are not smiling at all

  14. u see wor I mean?! Irresistably sweet blog award, head over to mine and pay it forward...:)

  15. LMAOF! U are just one funny chick. Yea i hate 4wded msgs like that too jare.
    Gets kinda annoying sometimes but some are cute, funny and hilarious but all those 4wd or go 2 hell fire" ones piss me ___ off.

  16. lol u'r so funny :)
    i really believed those chain msgs when i was in high schl..silly me
    now i jst read iem and delete 'em :)

  17. U no go kill me with laughter you this girl! lol

    - LDP

  18. Whatever made me think u were quiet eh Sisi??? SMH! badt badt childrenss :) oya blink in 10mins or something on ur left side will disappear! LOL

    @ChizyK: sweety have u been infected with the "yay! am first" disease on bella naija? talk true u've said that once there abi? *wink*

  19. Eeeewwwwoooo! Haa, I haff ***!

    Abeg park well! Galz eye dey chook!

    Una no go kill pesin.....

  20. Laugh wan kill me here...

    Sadly you cant get rid of people sending such msges. Be it yahoo, facebook, BB or anything...

    Just click 'delete' long thing

  21. LMAO @ "Gbobgbo Bigs tinz"
    I just tire for all them broadcasts oh jare...worse is when it comes from close friends and family and you know you cannot delete them.

    This your post title is so catchy.

  22. Is that what 24inches was about? I was wondering...

  23. LOL!! In fact, i tire for these messages oh! I got these too. Wahala- i totally ignored them. Whatever. People have time sha to be formulating and sending stuff like this


  24. Kolomental. I like how you combined everything shaaa! smh...some people no get work!

  25. LOL @ this post
    The most annoying emails are the ones where they threaten you 'that if you dont forward the email, you have broken the chain of blessings..'
    As God's blessings are conditional - based on technology???
    so, what happened before the days of email, BBM etc
    Did God punish people who failed to pass on a message?
    9ja sha..we always complicate stuff!

  26. Ahahahaha, this is a very extremely funny post. I did not share though, and I've been dreaming about you ever since...NOT!

  27. Hahahaha! I can't stop laughing. I haaaaate these forwarded messages. And some people send them every day. It's at a point where I don't even read BB messages from some people because I know it's definitely a forwarded message.

    Oh, and welcome to the "Gbobgbo Bigs tinz" club. Lol!

  28. Quietly reading and loving it...

    No missing this blog again; pinkie swear.


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