Few Good Men...


Last week, I boarded a taxi...had small talk with the driver. Not small talk...we were haggling about the cab fare jare; there is nothing I won't price, i even price items on sale!  When I reach house, I off jacket, hang am. I off shoe. I off bra. I off pant. I off light! I was that knackered.


 'Isn't it odd?' i thought to myself...' That I've been home for about 45 minutes and not a single Beep from my phone'...
So I got up, on light, put hand inside jacket pocket, nothing. 

What? Nothing?!

Brethren, I had instant headache. I ran to my bag, hopeful that my ever forgetful self kept the phone there, I shook hand inside all the zip wey dey the bag, nothing! I turn the bag upside down and poured the contents on the floor, the half chewingum i forgot plus my bits and bobs on the floor, by now yours truly was sweating like Christmas goat, yet it was freezing!


Just like indomie instant noodles tears were flowing freely! It was not silent tears. I was screaming and wailing. I put my hands on my head and threw myself on the floor...(I didn't know I know I was such a drama queen). I dey cry like pikin wey dem thief hin sweet! The lifetime of my phone flashed right before my eyes in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n...how I walked into the Apple shop, paid in cash and took my baby home! oh my iPhone, my beloved iPhone!

All the while, Mr Muscle was on Skype, watching my dramatics.( *ahem* i don wear bra and pant) I'm sure he was entertained...and slightly worried as per future mother of his kids na-who wan marry krase?! "It's just a phone" he said in a bid to calm me down...I yelled with the rage of an intoxicated chihuahua, "It is not JUST a phone! It's a smart phone!". Mild symptoms of konkonbility.

I called my phone more than 10 times and it was just ringing...(signs that you will never get it back)...na so I remember how dem thief my alcatel phone inside 'along,along bus' for warri one time and the thing just dey ring...My other phone, one Bird phone too, the pesin thief am, and had the effrontery to tell me 'say goodbye to your phone, collect the sim in Mile 12'....this was Lagos. I started round two of my wailing. Mr Muscle finally said..."calm down, I called your phone and the driver said you should pick the phone from their office tomorrow, will you stop crying now?"

...ehn? Say God!

The phone was not stolen? I wiped my tears...'he was going to give it back to me?'...Wonders shall never end! Not in warri! Not in 9ja! God I thank you oh, that I did not end this 2011 in tears! There are still a few good honest men out there, men that will return your phone to you when you lose it....Early morrin, na me dem wake see for their office!

#Shout out to Sol Taxis Northampton!




41 comments

  1. Hehehehhehehehehehe. You are really a drama queen. I could just picture you holding your head, throwing yourself down and wailing. :-p.. That driver must be one honest dude. If na for naija, ahhhhh, God don butter the bread of that driver, join dash am better Xmas present too. Hopefully, you will be more careful next time.;-)

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  2. Funny as always. Thank God for your phone :-)

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  3. You sef, LWKMD! I wish I were there to see the drama. Thank God the phone was returned to you.

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  4. And that my friend, is a xmas miracle! Glad u got ur fone back tho Lmao@all d drama. U no go kee pesin

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  5. Hahahahahahahahaha! You are three much sef! We thank God for the safe return of your phone. :o)

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  6. LOL! I know how you feel, but I think your love for your phone is deeper than my own. I'm glad you got it back!

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  7. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
    100%gistdotcom!!!!
    Give us update sha!

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  8. happy for you...isnt it weird the importance we attach to our mobile phones? welcome to the 21st century...lol

    http://crazylifemeetsdee.blogspot.com/

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  9. LOL! This gave me a good laugh! I've cried before when I lost my phone, but I found it anyways. Haha. Thank God you found your phone too!! :)

    foreversweetlybroken.blogspot.com

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  10. Thankful for you and your phone o! Phone loss marra no be small marra at all.

    I have to say i have missed your personal 'i go die with laffta' posts.
    Merry Xmas!

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  11. Thank God its in the UK. haha | God save u! lol

    - LDP

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  12. Lwkmd....chai!! Sisi yemmie, you no go kill person. That driver na corret pesin abeg.
    That your drama no easy o, especially d "say God"

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  13. lmao!!! wow. Me sef for crase oh! Thank God u got it back..

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  14. Sisi Yemmie...Your are something else sha!!!
    So dramatic!!
    Glad you found it.

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  15. Buhahahahahaha. I can imagine d drama. U had me laughing uncontrollably and worrying my mum.
    Thank God u found ur phone o. E for no funny lyk this.
    Merry xmas. Happy holidays.

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  16. I can't stop laughing! But then, there's still few good men!

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  17. lol....this is funny.....thank God say no be 9ja e 4 happen.

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  18. Hahahaha!!! Good u got it back. I can't imagine loosing an iphone

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  19. hahahhahahha! Hilarious... How come you off pant and bra inside cold. I sleep with three jumpers and my heater on oo, yeah I like to be toast under my duvet, cant stand cold.

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  20. But there are good men in Lagos too. My friend forgot her laptop in a taxi recently and the guy brought it back to her office the next day free of charge, funny thing is he refused the cash reward she was offering and only asked that she calls him everytime she needs cab services! That to me is a smart thing to do!

    Mr Muscle would have loads of stories to tell ur children *wink

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  21. yEIII...Thank goodness you found the phone.

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  22. "It's not just a phone, it's a smartphone"

    Abeg my sister, tell am o...lol jk. Hehe,I thank God that you got it back or 2011 would have left you on a horrible note

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  23. OMG!! U r a clown!! Hilarious clown...lmao...I loved it...

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  24. Lool, funny. Thank God you got your phone back o.
    Actually, there are a few good men that return phones in Naija
    too o. Don't write us off naa

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  25. Thank God you found your phone o. Thank God there are still some good men out there. Thank God your scatter-body paid off. Very funny post

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  26. Thank God u found the phone.
    Lol at the slow motion thing....

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  27. lmao i would have done the same thing jare.but ur lucky it was in the uk imagine if it was niaja

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  28. OMDZ!!! Sure there are a few good men out there..still laughing @"its not just a phone,its a smart Phone"

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  29. Sisi Yemmie, you will not wound me. I'm still having the giggles. This same thing happened to me last month. I left my brand new blackberry in a taxi......in Nigeria! I had the same melodramatic, African magic Yoruba reaction. My sister still laughs at me because of how I reacted till now. But surprisingly.....very surprisingly I got my phone back. And the cab people assured me that even if you forget a baby in their taxi, it will be safe and sound and waiting for you at their lost and found. Loosing an expensive and 'smart' phone no be joke jare so I no blame you

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  30. Funny story. But naija people dey try sometimes na. I have actuall forgotten my fone in a bus and i got it the next day from the driver.

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  31. LOL.. U r such a drama queen.. hehehe

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  32. There are still good people in 9ja o,ah ahn! Meanwhile the drama wey you act make sense o.LOL

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  33. Your story is so hilarious, thank God you got it back!

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  34. I dey beef all this thank God it was in the UK.

    Cab drivers return things in naija too and i know stuffs are also not returned in the UK. There are a still few good men in the Uk and in Naija.

    Thank God you met one of them....

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  35. Ha ha ha. Thank God it was returned o! Contrary to popular belief, honest taxi drivers still exist in Nigeria, last month my mom travelled to the east and got a cab to take her from the airport to a hotel and forgot her blackberry phone in the cab and didnt realise it till the cab man came back to return it. God works wonders :)!

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  36. lol...cant believe am just coming here jor...... as in... nice post. too funny...

    I pray we will always meet kind people and in return be kind..

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  37. this is so funny...smart fones are addictions

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  38. LOL. Same thing happened to me. Was gisting on my other phone and forgot my iPhone in a cab (27 Dec 2011). I was completely hysterical and totally inconsolable!

    My bf could understand for the life of him why I would react in that way to the loss of an inanimate object. Yup, I was quick to tell him that it was not just a phone and didn't want a replacement but MY OWN IPHONE. lol. The withdrawal symptoms and my initial reactions are suddenly more funny than I thought after reading your story. I'm thankful there are other people like me :D (I'm sure he knows that now as he sent this link to me).

    Like you, my story has a happy ending. I was re-united with my long lost phone on New Year's day so yup my 2012 definitely started on a good note. Na long story but the koko is early morrin on new year's day I was at Ijora taxi park and the cab man returned my phone to me. I "dashed" him 5k for his honesty as well as in the spirit of the celebrations.

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  39. hahaha this is so funny... i love your posts sisi yemmie

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