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LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
The gist of how a Nigerian man killed his wife and chopped her body like a mallam did not escape me. At all oh! I was in shock when I read the story because I nor understand the kind evil spirit wey enter the man. Women have always suffered abuse since, no be today yansh dey back. But how can you do that to someone you love? Anyway I'm here to table this matter make una judge am!
I was having a heated discussion with some people, some say the woman naim make we blame (egbami), say maybe she bin dey nag the man. Ok. Some say na the man make we blame, afterall naim kill the woman. Let me dissect this matter the way I see it!
BLAME 1. I blame the man! Shooo! Imagine the way the wife felt as he was plummeting her and pounding her and then stabbing her...and then chopping her to pieces. Men should stop blaming women for iranu oh. Ahn! Kilosele! So because a girl provokes you na to slap her? when they see their mate outside they cannot fight oh, they will be flexing muscle for omo l'omo! Jor oh! If a guy hits a woman, its not because SHE caused it, its because HE has NO SELF CONTROL. A man who has self control will find it hard to cheat on you and harder to raise his hands on you, not because you don't deserve it, but because he is PRINCIPLED. If you beat your sisters as well, TAKE NOTE!
BLAME 2. I just have to blame women. We try to put up with a lot of nonsense. Ewo ni iranu?! He slaps you the first time, you still continue, belts you the second time, you no Ex am, sotay he kon dey beat you steady. I've said it before, na from clap e dey enter dance. Often, women suffering from Domestic Violence are always trying to save face and don't say it for fear of 'what will people say'. We always know the red lights even while dating. Shoving, pushing and threatening to slap you are red lights. Get out of that relationship fast! Getting married to him will not stop it. Marriage is no cure for a man like that. If you are ready to settle down, don't settle for rubbish!
BLAME 3. Family, Friends and Neighbors. Some how I just have to blame these people sha. If you know your child or friend or neighbor is chopping slap from her man steady why do we encourage them to continue. Is marriage by force? The advice usually dished out is 'your husband is beating you because of something you are doing wrong, go home and submit to your husband and save your marriage'. Everything na Submission! Abeg!
Ladies, empower yourselves, find yourselves a career and goal apart from Boyfriendry and Husbandry. Most women find it hard to get out of abusive relationships because the man is your EVERYTHING... Give yourself some bargaining power. If you ever decide kpe you love that guy so much you can't leave him even though he dey punch you steady, I will advice you to start self-defense classes, learn karate and buy a gun. If pesin bite your nose and e no fear catarrh when you wan bite im anus no fear shit!
Posted by Sisi Yemmie at Friday, July 01, 2011