Born again. Again!

Nor be small thing my people. I have given my life to Jesus for the...maybe 1000th time in my life....(i think give my life at every altercall in a new Church lol-i know some people do this sha).

Anyways, I was on my way back to the UK oh. That morrin i arrange all my crayfish inside jeans pocket, put my kilishi inside bra for my box....so as to avoid all those customs people. Armed with my killer smile....i just breezed through customs...after a bit of sexual harrassment (bad customer service-why should the oga be asking for my number? i quickly dashed him my phone number b4 he will delay me) But wait oh, how many times will they search someone in 9ja? dem almost search me pull my payint! I don't blame them, na all those mutallab i blame.




I said my goodbye's, trying to act like a big chique and not cry, but for wia....d tears gather my eyes. No matter how many times you say goodbye's, even when you know you will soon meet again, its always tearful. Anyways I boarded and the plane was hot. I mean people were sweating! But trust Nigerians na, some wear winter jacket INSIDE that heat! one even complained to the air hostess "my sisteh, turn on the air conditioner hia, it is hot"....the woman look am laugh "the the load off sir, your jacket isn't needed and when the engines start running the plane will be cooler"...d guy no gree oh, he is going to Jand!

I sat with this newlywed igbo couple who just make me dey laugh....they ordered for double meals, chicken or lamb sir? both! ...extra extra bottles of red wine, white wine, everything, tea? yes. Coffee?yes, coke?yes water? yes? ....dem dey chop all through the journey and them go whisper to each other (its like we can still ask for more oh)...dem wan go sell the wines ni? what was amazing was that they NEVER stood up to pee or use the restroom during our 6hour flight....where did all the food go?

Midway into this flight we hit turblulence...serious one. The plane just dey shake anyhow...and the pilot  say make we tighten our seatbelt (and how i dread those announcements). Before you know it the plane is swinging...left right...gbugudu gbugdu gbugudu...like motor wey dey drive Benin-Lagos expressway!  All the women don dey hala "Jeeeesos! save us"....Blood of Jeesssos!...." "Holy speereet"! Children are screaming and crying. I will not lie, i almost shit in my pants and i kept thinking...about how i did not hug my mummy as long as i should have, how i never marry and kpansh legally, how i abused that winter-jacket wearing man in my mind..how i did not focus on the safety instruction when i boarded .....infact my whole life was flashing infront of me! Its not even May 21st and....Mba nu!

After almost 2 hours of turbulence, we landed safely and I am glad im alive!!! All through the flight I kept remembering  Bimbo Odukoya and all the lives lost in plane crashes. Life is fragile oh...and I think the luckiest people are those who grow old and die in their sleep. And my new prayer point forever will be "Lord let me grow old and grey and die in my sleep. I don't want to die in a fire, accident, gunshot, sickness....just let me grow old and grey..."


39 comments

  1. LOL, human beings dey quick remember God as soon as e be like sey kasala wan burst.
    Just imagine the number of people that quickly repent and speak in tongues tomorrow just cos they think the world is ending on May 21st.

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  2. Lol, what an experience. Thank God for journey mercies. I would totally come for a "tales by moonlight" session with you

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  3. What an experience, thank God for journey mercies. I'll totally attend a "Tales by Moonlight" session with you.

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  4. Funny! You wey dey abuse people wey dey chop jeje-ly, wetin you sef chop? I sure say the food wey you been chop fit cover your airfare x2!

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  5. "How you neva marry and kpansh legally"...LOL. Na dat one enter ya head as you dey fear crash. LWKMD.

    I go boro your tips to hide my crayfish and kilishi next time.

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  6. Life dey too sweet to come just kpai like that...least of all in a plane crash! God forbid oooo! Plenty things yet to be done one of which is kpanshing legally! Yemzay, u no go kill person but I feeeel you!

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  7. HAHAHAHA. This has happened to me before. I so rededicated my life to God that day ehen, because i thought the plane was going to crash.

    BTW, me i am eagerly awaiting May 21st oh, Maranatha(let him come) as some churches like to say

    As for the legal kpanshing...erm, well, no comment.

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  8. Turbulence is the surest way to Christ! Hallelujah!!! Nigerians can like to fear! Of which I heard a plane can't crash in turbulence. I believe those that have said this rubbish have never been on an Arik flight headed to Kaduna.

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  9. lol...ure funny.
    U don't really believe Harold Camping, do u?

    @CherryWine, they've not been on Arik. period!...lol...Arik is Tejuoso market in the air. Small turbulence...all the fire brand Christians start screaming and wailing, IJN.

    lol
    It is well

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  10. You smuggled crayfish and Kilishi in ur clothes? LOL!!

    Nobody prays to die in a plane crash. But nevertheless, it pays to be on the right page with God oh.

    Its amazing how turbulence or any threatening catastrophe can bring out the chicken in people! Imagine if you somehow know say the plane no go crash but people begin fret when it enters turbulence...it would be amusing to watch all the big people begin to flutter like fowls in their seats!

    LOL...Na wah for you oh sisi yemmie...e be like say you get addiction for altar call wey e don reah like 100 times. Well, at least ur heart truly wants to serve him...may He give you the fire to burn pass petrol for it!

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  11. LOL at being born again due to turbulence...i can definitely relate. There nothing like an extremely bumpy flight several thousand feet in the air to remind you to get right with the Lord. Thank God you arrived safely though.

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  12. Thank God for journey mercies...LMAO @ "jesoos holy speereet"...lool

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  13. Adupe ooo... Thanks you lord for keeping our SisiYemmie safe and sound.

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  14. Sisi-Yemmie, you want to kill somebody ooo!
    See where your mind was running to when you thought "otherwise"..i guess we will all do same if not worse in the same situation sha.
    Thank God for journey mercy. Hope u had a lovely time here?

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  15. LOL... u too funny. Thank God for journey mercies.. Don't forget to send me some of your crayfish n kilishi ... or else I go report to UK olopa police about your contraband. On second thought, never mind. me I no want eat kilishi wey don stay for underwear...

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  16. lol you are too funny!

    glad u made it back safely!!

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  17. All this our shaky wakey planes. We thank God for your safe landing shaa. If that flight had been on May 21st, e for be another matter. Una for don fly into heaven straight away....no be local flight??

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  18. Thank God for His journey mercies...I am happy for the safe landing of the plane

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  19. Hehehe! Don't we all have one of those crazy moments, every now and again?

    Picture a purging dude in a bus that plies a bumpy road!!! #okbye

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  20. LOL, how did you keep a straight face next to the newlywed couple? We would have rolled over into aisle screaming with laughter.

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  21. Lmao@ the Igbo couple. Thank God for journey mercies.

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  22. Loool. Thank God you are safe and well. What of the Igbo couple now, did they eat all through the turbulence?

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  23. Mehn! Thank God for your train ride oh! I bet some people actually wet themselves lol. LOl at the Igbo couple.

    Adiya

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  24. Very funny.Thank God for journey mercies.

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  25. LMAO!!!! Yemmie ehn! I'm at work laughing!!! And it's true WETIN that couple wan take the extra order do! Naija people for flights sha! LMAO!!!

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  26. looool @ the igbo couple and kpanshing legally haha..

    thank God u landed safely

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  27. LOL - u r just too funny but seriously, we shouldn't leave repentance till the last minute o.

    What a prayer at the end. lol

    - LDP

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  28. rotfl, legal kpanshing? how on earth did you come up with that?

    this is my first time "here" and i'm glad i came. bless your heart dear

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  29. hahahahahaha oh no! Eyah, that must have been quite a flight.
    LMAO! @ kpansh legally...whenever the thought of dying comes, that's one of the first things I think about too *face covered*

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  30. Wow! What a clear, distinct writing style you have. I LOVE it! Sorry about your experience, but you wrote it beautifully.

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  31. laff won kee me die na!! omo, roger readin dis tin 4:30am, May 21st!! i no go lie u, fear dey grip mai laif!! see all of us dey form *odeshi..world no fit end....* .....if e end nko?!? o_O
    10/10 for this post mayne!!laughed out so loud, cant believe my roomie didnt wake up to think rapture don show!!
    well, if world no end dis midnyt, i owe u visit oh....and if not....cum say hello..na me go be dat gewl wey dey follow Jesus run tinz :-D

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  32. Sisi Yhemmie..... Shebi you wan go to heaven? Why you come dey afraid to die?

    Please talk the bobo to marriage now so that you can kpansh leggally. Abi na you never ready?

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  33. my mum died in d bellview plane crash.....its something i will never wish for my enemy.

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  34. @BB so sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot even say I know how it feels but I agree we do not wish it on anyone hence my prayer. I pray we all grow old and gray.....

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  35. You better come marry me. You no need any long application. All you just need to do na to say 'Yessh'. Do this now so that you no go dey regret again when e be like say 'plane-rapture' dey imminent.


    Se you receive my apology-mail for your inbox? Abeg no vex say I no reply your request earlier.
    www.josephomotayo.blogspot.com

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  36. OOOh, I hate turbulence. I may have to travel in the midst of this ash cloud threat....not looking forwared to it.

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  37. LooooL Sisi Yemmie u are too funny ooo!!!
    Kpansh legally u konw?? bwahahaha

    For some reason tho, whenever I encounter those scary moments, my mind just goes blank.

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  38. Oh and the igbo couple too tho??.. loool I can't shout. Get your ticket money worth abeg.

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  39. I know this is not a laughing matter but its funny how when its time to die we all turn to GOD lol I`m glad u`re fine though..lol

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