WHAT DO YOU DO?

People aound me know I love food. Scratch that. I love GOOD food! So I remember when I went to naija and I was just craving everything I hadn't eaten in a while. I wrote a list of meals to be demolished; suya dey dia, fresh fish peppersoup dey dia, kilishi dey too, isiewu & nkwobi enter d list too.

Na so one day an aunt of mine overheard me saying I want to eat 'efo'. She kon extend invitation gimme...she raved about how her efo was one in town and na so I just dey lick lips dey salivate. She said 'come on friday evening'...I have never missed a food appointment in my life; I got there 40 minutes early!



When I reach the house...I was waiting for the aroma of the efo to envelop me in the parlour but I perceived nothing. I tilted my nose to the left and to the right...still nothing. Ah, abi she don cook the soup since put am for freezer? Ok na. An hour into my visit the food never still comot kitchen shuooo. I was pretending I didn't come to their house for the sole purpose of food. I was watching TV and commenting on how cute their daughter was and how nice the curtains by the window and how fascinating I found that their doorknob was red in colour...I was going on and on about nothing.

Finally the househelp brought kulikuli and Malta Guinness for me...I finished the whole thing. Hunger don wire me. I was saving my tummy for this efo. Exactly 28 minutes later I was invited to the dining. I bin dey count. The meal was covered and I still couldn't perceive the aroma. Abi na empty plate dey there? I did a mini drumroll in my head and then opened the plate. Brethren...I took one swallow *GULP* This was truly a one in town efo. Ojigbijigbijigbi-bad bad efo! The eba was solid as a rock; each swallow was painful. Because I said I was really famished my dear aunt had doubled the portion of my eba. E don red for me today!!!

Sisi: "aunty ah lovely soup" (struggling to swallow a morsel)
Aunty: "I told you my efo was sweet," she said grinning like a proud mother hen..
I tried to use cunny-cunny for my aunt but like they say 'cunny man die, cunny man bury am'...
Sisi: "Yes oh...aunty shebi I can do take away...this food is so delicious & I dont want to finish it at once"
Aunty: "No oh...since you like it so much, finish it and I will pack a separate one for you to take home".

Hands on my head...*Ewooooooooooooo*





55 comments

  1. ROFLMAO. I can only imagine your pain. Pele, my dear. Lol. You always manage to crack me up, even over something as serious as your stomach in danger. :))

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  2. Hahahaah... Very funny. Food no go kee u., bad bad efo. I feel u my dear, I have a friend like dat too. She no sabi cook anything, shame!

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  3. LDKMD!!!! Long throat don hold you prisoner!!!! Hahahahaha

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  4. I almost peed on myself. that was too funny loooool. sorry about the rocky eba and stale efo.

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  5. Hehehehehe! How you take escape? The take-away still follow you reach house? LOL!
    ***Hazel***

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  6. Hehehehehehehe. How you take escape? The take-away still follow you reach house?

    ***Hazel***

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  7. ajigbijigbijigbi! tehehehe!

    U sure pulled a straight face in that table cos i wlda had a "omg-wat-is-this?" face!

    Anyhow, where av u been?

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  8. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    ROFL!!!

    Sisi Yemmie, you are three much sef!

    Pele.

    Arriving 40 minutes early! Looool!

    Where you been??? Hope all is well though (besides this your efo adventure).

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  9. LWKMD..this is some hilarious something..lol...une sorry hen. Next time you know not to go to her house abi.

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  10. LMAO!!!! your aunt wsn't goin to let u off the hook easily. sowi lol

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  11. You no get choice na to finish the food or find when she comot you side, carry plate for kitchen go throwey...LMAO

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  12. hahaha
    You couldn't even escape with the take away!

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  13. #laughing#................don't know what to say ooo..hahahhahaa...ok! AWUFF DEY PURGE BELLY CHEI?..hahaha

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  14. hahaha see where love of food led u to....too funny.. there is nothing worst than terrible ebo talkless of the bad efo simply torture :-D

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  15. If you cannot smell the aroma then something is wrong...

    Well, she taught you a lesson; which is to cook your own food, eat in a restaurant or buy take-away.

    Didn't you know that your aunt was a bad cook?

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  16. well,with this,when next you hear one in town efo,you'll hold your self.

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  17. Ebina! lol,I love good food too, I think its one of our assignments on earth

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  18. Hahahaha!!!!Copy@Miz:Long throat prison be that one!!!eeya,pele!lmao!

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  19. lol. I feel you o. Ah, you have to manage and eat very slowly.lol

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  20. I can just imagine the torture. Lmao.

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  21. Suffering and smiling. na wa oo. Next time check IV well well.

    A question no one has ever answered me...why do bad cooks love piling your plate with their bad food? The thing tire me..meanwhile if its real nice food, its never enough.....

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  22. Na you wey start am go finish am. Olojukokoro. lol
    I like your aunty mehn! lol

    - LDP

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  23. the woman has been planning for you b4 b4.lol.c'mon, how she no go know say the food no sweet?

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  24. awoof dey purge o.................lwkm.
    pls checkout my blog: http://lucianochinwe.blogspot.com/

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  25. Lol, you have a lovely way of telling a story. It made me laugh

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  26. choi!!It is over!!!! LMAO...i nor fit laugh finish....in fact, na true red your own enter..

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  27. Aunty toh sure! LOL! EEya she fall your hand gaaan

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  28. Hahahahahahaha! Take away is always my best option.. lol

    Sorry for the rocky Eba and bad efo....lol

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  29. I loooove food, but ever since I started jogging E V E R Y D A Y I dont like certain food anymore.lol To carry thhis ikebe and laps dey run for Jabi Abuja no be yam and stew.lol

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  30. LWKMD, you don see food and you wan run? LOL...

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  31. Lwkm. I think say aunty plan for you o.

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  32. Oh dear.....this is hilarious. You really timed both your journey and how long it took them to serve the "amazing" efo and extremely soft eba NOT!. I trust next time, you won't talk to ur aunt about efo riro! lol pele.

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  33. LOL! allow the woman now...in her mind the efo is sweet :)

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  34. hohoho hahaha hehehe...I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or to say it serves u right. lol.

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  35. hahah great interesting post. hoping that you will go through this period safely.

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  36. hahahahahahahaha, i can't breathe oh, this is too funny

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  37. lwkmdfh! Next time, do ur research- longthroat go do wonders, lol ...sori o! Hope ur stomach has recovered.

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  38. LOL! Your post had me in stitches. Nice one...Sisi Yemmie

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  39. "...since you like it so much, finish it..." brilliant.

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  40. great interesting post. love such comic here.

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  41. Sharp babe meets sharp host!Sharp babe meets sharp host!

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  42. You go fear efu na..lol..chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

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  43. Blessings....
    lol,
    lol'
    lol,
    lol,
    i feel sorry for you o, it reminds me of the time i was eyeing this good looking brother and doing the mantra so he go sit by me, i got meh wish and more cause when he open he mouth it stink like hell, meh eye water from the fumes, ah vex bad, ah get out 2/3 stops before meh real stop.

    you know wah they say, "Becareful what you wish for, yuh just might get it"...hehe

    p.s.
    you know your aunty probably read this post right?

    stay blessed.
    Rhapsody
    http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix

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  44. LMSAO....eyah! I really can't imagine after so much mouth watering

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  45. loooool! It's really a sad story.. me sef, I'm making my list and I go chop well well as soon as I enta naija!

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  46. Where is Sisi Yemmie?
    Missed all the comedy........where est thou? Left for too long...........

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  47. ROFLMAO...Serves you right. Long throat no good o. Remember say free tins dey run belle.Eya...sorry o. I thank God say I been no dey your bata!!
    Nice one Sisi!

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  48. LOL!!!! i make good efo....when next u visit, lemme know and pls remind me to keep kulikuli and malta guiness for u too! Encore...

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  49. I didn't know U are so Funny until I passed through Ur Blog ... So inspired.keep it on !!!

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Your comments are like delicious grains of jollof rice to me: please feed me! Send me love mail sisi@sisiyemmie.com / Official business@sisiyemmie.com

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