Friday, May 7, 2010

GBO GBO BIGZZZ GIRLSSSSS!!!

Girls wont kill us these dayss....Everyone sha wants to be biggzzzz....Abeg who has heard of this new craziness called Brazillian hair oh? and Indian one ma? what of malaysian? high 5 jare if you are very conversant with these things that have become like a virus especially in 9ja girls. Dem no go let pezin hear word again!. Ahn Ahn! If you dont have money, you go suffer. Who say money no good?bring am make i woze am! Is it an easy sometin to look like Beyonce,, Ciara, ati be be lo?tell me?! Well these hair people finally showed us the secret to their long natural looking hair pieces abi na extension dem dey call am. You see ehn...when I was ignorant, i would spend the better part of my day trying to figure out how a black girl like me will have long mammy water hair. Wetin I do? I go just dey wonder.But we thank God! Breeze don blow and fowl yansh don open. I now know that I can resemble all these celebrities one kind if i combine lace hair and brazillian hair!Some people sef will do the lace hair n resemble ojuju, na wah oh....



Naija girlss....kai! Do you know you can be walking on the road and one kobo legged girl will just say ' excuse me, is it brazillian you are wearing?'...lol...she knows its is not brazillian, she just wan mumu you n bring you down. And you sef ode will say, 'oh no, its darling yaki'...Na dat one dey pain me pass. The koboleg will now say ' oh...i thot it was brazillian, so i wanted to ask where you bought it cos my friend told me that mine was a rip off, u wont believe i paid 120k for this hair!'....hmmm....she don loyal you be that! In just ONE sentence, she told you kpe you no reach, say levels pass levels, and she be BIGGGSSSS what? BiIIIGGGGSS Girls!

Nne and Nna's, gone are the days when you will do darling yaki, yaki flip up, sensational, yaki mirelle, and be feeling cool with yourself. If you want to know your levels for society now na by your hair. If you're not rocking brazillian yet, my dear, na u sabi. All these kain oppresion can make people commit armed robbery and aristocracy! Ehen now. You want to be bigs, and your boyfriend still dey 200 level mechanical, wetin you go do? na to enter igboro go find one old monkey wey senior your papa. The man will be arranging you and you will be sorting him in return. Well that option is for girls wey know say, nuttin nuttin i must be bigggsss.

The other option is to starve. If your allawi was kuku 20 k per month, you will sha make sure you save 15k out of it. Dont ask me what you will eat oh...all those girls i know them. They will visit Angelina today chop rice dia. Go to tope tomorrow and swallow eba dia, borrow money from Imabong and then after 5 months, money don complete and they r now what? Biggggsssss. Thank you! What happened to the good old days? I remember VIVIDLY, how me I like to economise on my hair. No be 400 naira pere for darling yaki? thats if i dont even price it down to 350 pa pa. And i will make sure the one i buy is very full so that one pack will b enuf for my head (i kuku thank God i have small skull ). And if the hair dresser finish d one pack before she finish my hair , na she sabi! Because I always warn them before they start my hair kpe, me oh, na one pack i dey use oh. If they say hair wey no full no dey fine, i go say na scanty hair dey fit me pass. I don ya were ni? abi na winch i chop? But that was in the past. These days, we gats shed our ayetoro mentality and become biggs naw. Slowly but surely.

Have you noticed something kpe, when people don fix this hair they will be feeling like they r more than themselves?as in their mind go dey totori dem? and it will be like they are walking on air. have u noticed?I notice all these little things jor. Its hard not to. Infact, i have studied the hair sotay....one glance is all I need to tell u boya its indian, peruvian, malaysian, brazillian or Aba hair (darling yaki dem dem).lol. But last time I checked, other hair extensions like pro 10 (price of two mtn 1500 recharge cards) were still in vogue. From nowhere this sudden tornado of Brazillian hair just took over 9ja. I still dont understand how. I f you want to die of oppression go to Lagos! at least for warri dem never jasi too much.

Brazillian hair is not the only thing oh. BB nko?infact, without that one, 'they' say you are a nobody! People no dey collect phone number again oh, na BB Pin,. If u no get and you are a girl in 9ja, your self esteem go drop! Ahhhhh...9ja girls can oppress. And you know ehn, when you hold BB, you no fit keep am inside handbag - what is worrying you?? you gats flaunt it naw...its not easy naw....c'mon naw! You will hold it n use it to point, touch, and gesticulate. One of my friends wrote on my wall (remember our topic on facebook manners?) and she said, send me your BB pin jor, mine is. blah blah blah. Wetin she dey try do so? She dey try make me look stupid. Olorun maje!!! I cant tell you how i replied her, but one thing is for sure, she will NEVER try it again.lol

I overhead this chic saying she cant even date a guy that doesnt use a Blackberry. E gbami! So blackberry naim dem go chop? She defended it by saying she wants somebody with status and that BB is relationship friendly. Na wah oh. Eyin guys, mo sorry gaaan! Una dey try. So BB now rates a guy? only in 9ja! Only! If you are even trying to be something in life n ur girlfriend just dey bug u up and down say all her friends r using BB and Brazillian hair what will you do? BB the cheapest is nothing less than 30 k, Brazillian hair nko? nutting less than 50 k..Lace hair is the killer...nutting less than 70k. how u wan do? All these girls, please take it easy oh. We understand kpe you must be bigs, but na small small.

Even me sef that im doing this tatafo...i shall not be found wanting. Before the end of 2010, I must be what? BIGGGSS.....Gbo gbo bigsss girls...I hail oh!!!! 


ps. If you want to be biggs, contact me cos i don dey sell d hair now sef :))))

33 comments:

  1. this babes, you will not kill me! i absolutely love this one too. But the BB thing is really communication friendly oh! u sef ma, send me the BB Pin...lol... thank goodness the Brazilian madness never reach canada as if u see naija person u go happy not to talk of brazilian hair.. mcheww, but i gotta get on that stufzs as well.. hehehe.. keep it up girls, starting to look forward to ur blogs all the time :)

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  2. Lol my dear anything that gets to Naija must be overhyped. with this high demand these days,I don't think these hairs will be enough for everbody, at least then it was only celebrities using them. Wait you'll soon here breaking news on CNN is it not naija again?! There must always be a way out lol. Gosh I just pity all these white people in Naija they'll just wake up one day and not find their hair again ....abi what do you think all these wannabe bigsss girls will result to eventually?!...

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  3. Lol jane. i like d part about them whity not finding their again wen they wake up. But naij y??????????????????????????????????????????????

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  4. Its a Nature, Naija, our own dey pass normal. If everybody carry am on level 1, our own go reach level 50... lol
    Naijacraze! LOL

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  5. damn.....neva knew the BB and Lace hair or brazillian hair (wateva they call it) craze was dat bad in Nigeria....i think i've bin out of touch wit my 'country people' for too long. anyways, i wish all d ppl running after the aforementioned things good luck....i'm as broke as hell. so no money for BB or lace wig...got to soak my garri according to my plate size....

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  6. I like your blog. First time here and i enjoyed reading this post. Funny as hell. I like the way you write also.

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  7. as in BB palava no be small thing, sote husband and wife now communicate on BBM.

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  8. Lol... This is too funny especially the one about having a boyfriend in 200 level mechanical... Haha... I pissed myself laughing. Insecurities of these girls has pushed them to extremes.. Never got the brazillian hair craze... Although I have a bb just to reach communicate with friends I cannot afford to call long distance...lol... Keep writing... Loving this

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  9. first time here...you write beautifully well. this post is sooooo funny that i was laughing out loud in the office, my boss had to ask me if all is well.
    this BB and lace wig no be small thing for lagos anymore o. me self don tire of the oppression so i gats join the BB crew, latest by end of month ni oruko Jesu...AMIN!!! LOLLLL!

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  10. wow..am glued to ur blog already...

    u r just a crazy girl..and i like..

    lol..gbogbo biggss girlz

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  11. brazillian right
    no
    i am Nigerian!

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  12. No one can make u feel oppressed but urself. All d people dat think being big is defined by what they r putting on or carrying r definitely shallow. Abeg, lets match forward 2 deeper things like d value of whats in ur mind and how u can use it 2 make money. Those r d real bigz boiz & galz.

    As 4 d BB thing... in most gatherings i find myself, am usually d only one without a BB. But me, i dont send o. No one can even try 2 oppress me cos they know dat I can afford 2 get a BB anytime I want but I dont need it. what will I be doin wit it, chattin all day?

    Recently, my fiancee gave me a BB but i retuned it 2 him afta 2 days. Am d only one in dis world dat i have seen do such a thing. I know I can be a case at times, I am also tired of myself!

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  13. lol ur so on point,as a 'bigsss gal' you have all those accessories yes o na accessories.gbam

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  14. Absolutely interesting n true. Lovely write up. As for the bb craze... M a crack/blackberry addict. Its all about the pinging we must confess.

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  15. Ah..ore mi....no be smallz thingz ooo. The brazilian hair na d koko, if not u eva start. You know say na you still hold my brazillian, infact i'll come and take d one on your hair. As for the BB, we don dey runz things tey-tey, sotey the thing don tire me sef. I met a guy at the train station in London (9ja guy oh) and after much talk, the next thing was "can i have ur BB pin?" And then i asked why not my number....and he goes, cos everybody is on BB. Ese Jesu say i get BB, ehn...if not na so i for just fall my hand. Sisi Yemmie, ride on girl, nice one

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  16. looool... U are soooo funny! haha! it's true sha; everyone in Naij talks about d "Indian hair" and "are u on BB?" am like huh? how I go be on BB now? lol.. me sef I fear come Nigeria o! I might just get oppressed lol..
    good job!

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  17. but BB allows me to keep in-touch at very very cheap costs lol; consider it

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  18. Hahahahaha! You too much abeg! I totally approve how your pidgin just dey flow!
    This is my first time visiting your blog and I must say na one correct blog!

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  19. First time here. I like your style, very humorous. On this post, for naija every thing dey dey over hyped. I don tire for the question "are u on bb" must i be on bb before i can be reachable? The height of it is our nollywood oh, the recent one wey i hear be say there's a new film now and u can guess the title of the movie "BLACKBERRY BABES" i watched the preview on You Tube and i'm like What the h..l is this.

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  20. Gbam!!! Gbosa!!! Well sha... Mε, I knw my levels, once a babe don dey ask of "thousand-of-nairas" kinda hairstyle fees from me, I go find my square root... No b by force make yhu dey find big gelz... Jooor o! Brazillian hair wey be say Brazillians sef no dey do, na im our own gelz dey pay... Errrmmm... Ao much?! 150k????!!!! Bye    Bye   !

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  21. LMAO!!! YOU SHOULD DO MAGAZINES

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  22. Sisi Yemmie! u no go kill me o....ur so on point on this one!!! and i'm so stale, i'm just seeing dis a year after...this is jus the bitter truth, we naija gals and our wahala...only God can help us[pls permit me to share this link on my blog. i'll be expecting your reply]

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  23. you wont kill me o!!! youre sooo on point and i wish i saw dis earlier!!! this is jus d bitter truth...naija girls and their craze for 'reputation'...who sai?. Lovely piece tho'...please permit me to share on my blog. id be awaiting your reply...keep up the good work

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  24. lol...@Urbanchic thanks! I permit you to share it on your blog....as long as you link it back to me sha :)))

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  25. eka christiana jonesJune 23, 2011 at 6:15 AM

    @yemmie,wafi u too much o....wafi must always represent any day anytime.keep it up o,me c u goin many places wit dese...saw d trait in u back in dose days in iuo,wen i do read ur write ups in ur pink dairy dt had a lock,rememba?say hi to yomi n c u at d top!!!.....mis ya...

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  26. @yemmie,wafi u too much o....wafi must always represent any day anytime.keep it up o,me c u goin many places wit dese...saw d trait in u back in dose days in iuo,wen i do read ur write ups in ur pink dairy dt had a lock,rememba?say hi to yomi n c u at d top!!!.....mis ya...

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  27. Lol...this is just hilarious...my thoughts exactly Sisi Yemmie! All these useless things have led girls into doing all sort of unspeakable things. Keep up the good work!

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  28. Absolutely hilarious, and so true!

    I pity people that try to live their lives that way. Dem never start.

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  29. A good write-up! Brazilian hair and BB! LOL. Girls no go kill me. I also dont use BB not cos i can't afford it rather i dont see d need to own one.

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  30. ALL IS WELL FOR MOST OF THE MAN THAT LIKE NATURAL HAIR STYLE I LOVE IT MOST WELL A WOMAN DO KOROBA HAIR STYLE HEHEHEHE

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