CALL ME SAM...


Ha fa na? meaning how are you? incase your pidgin is getting rusty. I get tory to nak una…

So during valentine, yes the one wey just pass, I na went to the aiport to catsh my flight, I got there on time. But there’s nothing more annoying than getting somewhere early and then there’s a delay; as I heard Aero contractors almost always delay. Your flight can be 1:00pm and dem go shift am to 6pm…

My flight was delayed so I decided to buy etisalat sim card, while I was there I noticed this man…. Scratch that. I noticed this daddy was using corner eye to look at me and the kind of smile he gave me was inappropriate for his age. I mean… to a girl like me.

Anyhow sha I bought the card and went to the lounge. I sat on their iron chair and started reading Genevieve Magazine; in fact I bought it specially cos our very own Lohi feature was there (did you guys see it? Proud I know her!), so I was jejely reading it oh…


Like 2 minutes later this daddy came and sat beside me… I flipped to the next page.
“Hi”… he said “…pretty girl”… he looked me from up to down and back up again
“Good afternoon sir”, small thing remain I for digwe but I ended it with a firm “Sir”…

“Off to Abuja?” He asked…

Abuja ke?

“No Sir, I’m going to Portharourt”… I turned his way, daddy ti pa lori, his bia bia had some greys in it and all his nose hair were fighting to see the world…nyama nyama tins. However, he was very eloquent.

“Ah… I see, can I ask what you’re going for?”

Ewo ni question ni si?

“I’m going to visit my fiancé”

“Oh”…. He looked and me and smiled one kain smile like that, I continued reading my magazine.

“Can I get you anything?”

Ehn?

“No Sir”…did I  look like I want something?

“I insist”…

LOL.

“Ok Sir get me water”

He smiled that agbaya smile again and started walking eagerly to the restaurant. Orisi risi… see me oh. Controlling this daddy. I looked around and one iya was giving me evil eye, I quickly gummed my eyes to the magazine.

He came back with the water, I told him thank you and put the water in my bag. If na him wife send am dis kain message he probably will not go. 

“Thank you sir”

“Naaaa! Don’t call me sir, call me Sam”,

Oloshi… call him sam ke? Him wey old pass my father. Na wah!

“I know you have a fiancé, but I’ll tell you what, give me your number and I’ll call you in a weeks time, hopefully you’ll be done with him and we can have fun” he said with a mischievous wink in his eyes.

Abi baba yi ti ya were? Just like that? Abeg is that how it works these days? No respect for my afe s'ona?

As the daddy dey talk, my flight was boarding, I quickly told him thank you, and sprinted off before he could say Jack robinson. I threw the water in the bin.

This na somebody father. Somebody husband. Most probably somebody granpa… jati jati!

J A T I    J A T I

31 comments

  1. “I know you have a fiancé, but I’ll tell you what, give me your number and I’ll call you in a weeks time, hopefully you’ll be done with him and we can have fun”
    What a remark.. Such a hopeless sod.

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  2. Ki lon pop? Nice read! Please kindly change the font. Kinda hard on my eyes.

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  3. Hahaha......i like the part u told him to get u water....Yes,He shld be treated like agbaya that that he is!Very hilarious post....

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  4. Lol this so funny. I can't stop laughing. Something like this happened to a friend of mine. www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  5. Lmaooooo!!!! Sisi Yemmie and her almost-sugar-daddy. Na their way!

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  6. LOL, as the song goes in yoruba pemi loruko ko fa mi nirungbo meaning disrespect me in the name of love! Old men be disrespecting d greys they have been blessed with!!!! Demi

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  7. Lol papa ajasco is checking u out hehe wen he said call me sam, u shuld ave called him uncle sam lol

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  8. loooool! Is it your first time? They are everywhere with their disgusting leers and tehir well-manicured fingers. Next time when someone says anything other than hi, just change seats if you don't want the wahala.

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  9. Hahahaha!!

    Baba Agbaya...what a bald and aged disgrace.

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  10. Sugar daddies and their abaya ways. They will do anything just to have their way. E good say you throw way dat water, who knows if im put love portion inside wiv im eye eh. Lol

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  11. hehehe na so na. Met one that told me to call him Kofo. #granpathings

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  12. hahahhahaha can't stop laffin ohhh

    “I know you have a fiancé, but I’ll tell you what, give me your number and I’ll call you in a weeks time, hopefully you’ll be done with him and we can have fun”

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  13. YAY ME! So you bought it because of me! Awwwww! and LOOOOOL! Nigerian men can never change!

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  14. Mahn! That's just sad. Nigeria ehn, I don't even know again. But obviously he has been successful with other females in the past to be so bold.

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  15. no respect for women “I know you have a fiancé, but I’ll tell you what, give me your number and I’ll call you in a weeks time, hopefully you’ll be done with him and we can have fun”
    how can he say this

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  16. Bad belle old man wan come use him reggae spoil ur blues,abeg make dem all shift jore!

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  17. lwkmd, ehen... apparently that's how these things work if diaries of a naija runz girl is anything to go by lol

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  18. lwkmd... hahaha if naija runz girl is anything to go by then the man must consider what he is doing as normal and expected

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  19. hahhHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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  20. Everyone here just Knocking the guy. Women his age are probably not interested in being hit on or too unattractive. How you take it as a compliment, which is simply all that it is. You said no and that was the last of him. (no choice but to accept it)

    If the old man put a figure (like N100,000) on his "call you in a week's time" comment, I wonder how many people here would have turned him down.

    Just remember, old men need love too. Just playing the devils advocate here o.

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  21. roTFL. I just love the way you tell stories sha...I can't stop laughing...abeg don't blame the old guy joor, abi age na reason not to see fine girl?

    you're really nice oh.

    I might not have been able to stop myself from giving him a piece of my mind after the 'done with the fiance' comment. You be diplomat gan...

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  22. Dats naija for u where anything is possible. Can't stop laughing...

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  23. "If na him wife send am dis kain message he probably will not go." True that..
    LMAO, Yemisi u neva seize to make me smile

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  24. "If na him wife send am dis kain message he probably will not go." True that..
    LMAO, Yemisi u neva seize to make me smile

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