Is there a perfect man???

I spent all morning wondering if anything like that exists and I came to a conclusion that you could never get a 100 %. Especially when you are looking for a hundred percent in a prospective partner. I’m sure we have once written a list or two, mentally or for real, listing qualities we want “our perfect man” or “perfect woman” to possess. Some physical qualities, some character qualities. My perfect man smiles and laughs alot, he loves to hug, always listens and gives alot of gifts! (might as well be Santa). I’ve written a list too, not once, not twice cos as I grew older I had to edit the list.lol.

I tended to have a different view on things; I began to have different values. I edited “funny” for a “good sense of humor” cos honestly, I don’t want a clown! I took out “playful” and put in “mature”….and I’m sure I added “generous” and “God fearing” about a dozen times.lol. What was this whole list about? Finding the “perfect” man- One of the greatest journey’s on earth. We have so many books on how to find one. We have so many blogs about quickie ways to getting one (10 ways to get a good man, how to spot a good man, how to keep a good man). Your mum and friends might have chipped in a few, but honestly have you found one yet? Perfect man, Perfect woman, Perfect anything???

You are looking for a 100% on whose standards? Yours??? ha ha ha. That makes me LMAO! Cos if u look at yourself, you are nowhere near perfect. Take a good look at yourself, C’mon, don’t be shy….do u see that flabby tummy? or those short stocky legs? Or that big nose that just won’t go away? And here you are with a list from here to there mentioning how cute n handsome u want he/she to be like; d perfect waistline, d perky boobs (pardon me), d straight legs….n d long hair that goes on forever…hmmm?.That’s for chemistry.

How about character? u want someone who is patient, kind, generous, good sense of humour, intelligent, God fearing…..basically, all the things you are not! On your own scale, weigh thyself. Are you perfect yourself? Are u kind? N generous? N understanding? Are u all that and a bag of chips? Even if u seem to be perfect in front of people, what about that great flaw u hide? Doesn’t that dent your sleek perfection? Tut tut!

If I had the man I listed in my diary, id be single till eternity, and posterity will never forgive me! That list was an error. Kind of. If I had THE PERFECT MAN, I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I wouldn’t appreciate it and my self esteem would plummet. Imagine someone who never goes wrong! Who u can never quarrel with? Who never annoys u? I’d go bonkers! Someone who is 100%? Oh no. That I do not need. I’ve looked at my flaws and all; I honestly cannot measure up to a 100% man. And I doubt that anyone is a 100%, not to talk of measuring up to one.

So I ditched perfect and went for the IDEAL man! N I feel like he is 150% cos he makes me feel like im 150% too. He doesn’t do all the right things, NEWSFLASH! I don’t either. He has given me a new list to work on. He made my list seem incomplete cos there were qualities I didn’t know I wanted from a partner that I cannot live without and he does have flaws that I can live with, and I have some quirks that he can tolerate. Together we can create the perfect 100%!

If u feel u find someone that makes u happy but 80%? or 95.2%, go for it. You can get on your knees and ask God to help you add the remaining that isn’t there. And while u are at that, Pray for yourself too, for God to add your remaining (???) percentage.

ps. The question isn't whether you or he/she is perfect. The true question which you should be asking is, "Are we perfect for each other?

GBO GBO BIGZZZ GIRLSSSSS!!!

Girls wont kill us these dayss....Everyone sha wants to be biggzzzz....Abeg who has heard of this new craziness called Brazillian hair oh? and Indian one ma? what of malaysian? high 5 jare if you are very conversant with these things that have become like a virus especially in 9ja girls. Dem no go let pezin hear word again!. Ahn Ahn! If you dont have money, you go suffer. Who say money no good?bring am make i woze am! Is it an easy sometin to look like Beyonce,, Ciara, ati be be lo?tell me?! Well these hair people finally showed us the secret to their long natural looking hair pieces abi na extension dem dey call am. You see ehn...when I was ignorant, i would spend the better part of my day trying to figure out how a black girl like me will have long mammy water hair. Wetin I do? I go just dey wonder.But we thank God! Breeze don blow and fowl yansh don open. I now know that I can resemble all these celebrities one kind if i combine lace hair and brazillian hair!Some people sef will do the lace hair n resemble ojuju, na wah oh....

Naija girlss....kai! Do you know you can be walking on the road and one kobo legged girl will just say ' excuse me, is it brazillian you are wearing?'...lol...she knows its is not brazillian, she just wan mumu you n bring you down. And you sef ode will say, 'oh no, its darling yaki'...Na dat one dey pain me pass. The koboleg will now say ' oh...i thot it was brazillian, so i wanted to ask where you bought it cos my friend told me that mine was a rip off, u wont believe i paid 120k for this hair!'....hmmm....she don loyal you be that! In just ONE sentence, she told you kpe you no reach, say levels pass levels, and she be BIGGGSSSS what? BiIIIGGGGSS Girls!

Nne and Nna's, gone are the days when you will do darling yaki, yaki flip up, sensational, yaki mirelle, and be feeling cool with yourself. If you want to know your levels for society now na by your hair. If you're not rocking brazillian yet, my dear, na u sabi. All these kain oppresion can make people commit armed robbery and aristocracy! Ehen now. You want to be bigs, and your boyfriend still dey 200 level mechanical, wetin you go do? na to enter igboro go find one old monkey wey senior your papa. The man will be arranging you and you will be sorting him in return. Well that option is for girls wey know say, nuttin nuttin i must be bigggsss.

The other option is to starve. If your allawi was kuku 20 k per month, you will sha make sure you save 15k out of it. Dont ask me what you will eat oh...all those girls i know them. They will visit Angelina today chop rice dia. Go to tope tomorrow and swallow eba dia, borrow money from Imabong and then after 5 months, money don complete and they r now what? Biggggsssss. Thank you! What happened to the good old days? I remember VIVIDLY, how me I like to economise on my hair. No be 400 naira pere for darling yaki? thats if i dont even price it down to 350 pa pa. And i will make sure the one i buy is very full so that one pack will b enuf for my head (i kuku thank God i have small skull ). And if the hair dresser finish d one pack before she finish my hair , na she sabi! Because I always warn them before they start my hair kpe, me oh, na one pack i dey use oh. If they say hair wey no full no dey fine, i go say na scanty hair dey fit me pass. I don ya were ni? abi na winch i chop? But that was in the past. These days, we gats shed our ayetoro mentality and become biggs naw. Slowly but surely.

Have you noticed something kpe, when people don fix this hair they will be feeling like they r more than themselves?as in their mind go dey totori dem? and it will be like they are walking on air. have u noticed?I notice all these little things jor. Its hard not to. Infact, i have studied the hair sotay....one glance is all I need to tell u boya its indian, peruvian, malaysian, brazillian or Aba hair (darling yaki dem dem).lol. But last time I checked, other hair extensions like pro 10 (price of two mtn 1500 recharge cards) were still in vogue. From nowhere this sudden tornado of Brazillian hair just took over 9ja. I still dont understand how. I f you want to die of oppression go to Lagos! at least for warri dem never jasi too much.

Brazillian hair is not the only thing oh. BB nko?infact, without that one, 'they' say you are a nobody! People no dey collect phone number again oh, na BB Pin,. If u no get and you are a girl in 9ja, your self esteem go drop! Ahhhhh...9ja girls can oppress. And you know ehn, when you hold BB, you no fit keep am inside handbag - what is worrying you?? you gats flaunt it naw...its not easy naw....c'mon naw! You will hold it n use it to point, touch, and gesticulate. One of my friends wrote on my wall (remember our topic on facebook manners?) and she said, send me your BB pin jor, mine is. blah blah blah. Wetin she dey try do so? She dey try make me look stupid. Olorun maje!!! I cant tell you how i replied her, but one thing is for sure, she will NEVER try it again.lol

I overhead this chic saying she cant even date a guy that doesnt use a Blackberry. E gbami! So blackberry naim dem go chop? She defended it by saying she wants somebody with status and that BB is relationship friendly. Na wah oh. Eyin guys, mo sorry gaaan! Una dey try. So BB now rates a guy? only in 9ja! Only! If you are even trying to be something in life n ur girlfriend just dey bug u up and down say all her friends r using BB and Brazillian hair what will you do? BB the cheapest is nothing less than 30 k, Brazillian hair nko? nutting less than 50 k..Lace hair is the killer...nutting less than 70k. how u wan do? All these girls, please take it easy oh. We understand kpe you must be bigs, but na small small.

Even me sef that im doing this tatafo...i shall not be found wanting. Before the end of 2010, I must be what? BIGGGSS.....Gbo gbo bigsss girls...I hail oh!!!! 

ps. If you want to be biggs, contact me cos i don dey sell d hair now sef :))))

KISS between D'banj and Genevieve!!!

D'BANJ and GENEVIEVE - FALL IN LOVE!!!

Na wah oh, I heard they are even dating sef....abeg did anyone see the kiss at the end of the video??????????? <3 <3

Lessons ...(picked up online)

Lesson1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes

me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your

shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,

'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.

They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird

froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Yemmie!!!